The other night I was in the garage, reorganizing absolutely nothing, when a song came on that I hadn’t heard in years.

It was Higher by Creed. Seventeen-year-old me used to blast it with the windows down, convinced I understood life. Then I grew up, discovered irony, and decided my music taste had “evolved.”

But standing there between a half-assembled shelf and a bag of grass seed, I didn’t skip it. I turned it up. And it sounded… good.

That’s when it hit me: something has shifted. Not dramatically. Not overnight. But steadily, quietly, over the past few years of becoming a dad.

I Get Choked Up Now

I was never the emotional guy.

  • Breakups? Managed.
  • Stress? Internalized.
  • Movies? Unmoved.

Now I find myself clearing my throat during car commercials. A dad teaching his daughter to drive. A kid hitting a game-winner while his parents lose their minds in the stands. The ending of Toy Story 3? Forget it.

Fatherhood doesn’t turn you fragile. It removes your emotional armor. Once you’ve held your own kid, the world feels more personal. Every story about a child hits closer. Every moment of pride feels earned.

You don’t cry because you’re weaker. You cry because you understand more.

I Care About Things I Used to Mock

I used to think adults were dramatic about household stuff. Now I have strong opinions about lawn stripes. About thermostat settings. About the correct way to load a dishwasher.

The house isn’t just a place anymore. It’s the backdrop of your kids’ childhood. It’s where scraped knees get cleaned up and bedtime stories get read. When something feels off, it’s not about control, it’s about stewardship.

You stop seeing chores as chores. You start seeing them as maintenance on the life you’re building.

Sleep Is a Performance Tool

In my twenties, I optimized for fun. Now I optimize for sleep. Seven and a half hours feels like a competitive advantage. Five hours feels like I’m negotiating a hostage situation with a toddler at 6:12 a.m.

Patience requires fuel. And kids burn through it fast.

My Social Life Got Smaller…And Better

Here’s one nobody talks about.

You don’t just lose time. You lose tolerance. I don’t want to sit around complaining about work, politics, or how “crazy things are right now.” If I’m leaving my house at night, which already feels like a logistical operation, I want to spend it around positive people who are getting after it.

Building something. Training for something. Thinking bigger. Being good dads. The circle gets smaller. But the quality goes up. You realize energy is finite. And who you spend it with matters.

Risk Feels Different

I still believe in big swings. Start the thing. Build the thing. Bet on yourself. But now there’s a second layer to the calculation. Before kids, failure bruised your ego. Now it affects the people who call you Dad.

That doesn’t make you timid. It makes you measured. You’re not less ambitious. You’re more responsible. The math changes when it’s not just your landing anymore.

Music From Your Past Sounds Different

When I was seventeen, Creed felt dramatic and intense.

Now it feels nostalgic. It reminds me of a version of myself who worried about curfews and college applications, not daycare costs and pediatrician copays. Listening to it doesn’t make me young again. It just connects me to who I’ve been.

You don’t go back to old songs because they’re cool. You go back because they anchor you.

The Shift No One Talks About

The biggest change isn’t your taste in music or your bedtime. It’s your tenderness.

You’re quicker to forgive. Slower to judge. More aware of how short everything is. You look at other kids and realize they’re someone’s whole world. You think about your own parents differently. You start to understand their worry, their exhaustion, their quiet sacrifices.

Becoming a dad didn’t harden me the way I expected. It deepened me. I didn’t lose my edge. I lost my indifference.

And honestly? That’s a trade I’ll take.

Routine isn’t a bad thing. Most of us work hard to build one. Morning schedules. Work blocks. kids’ activities. Family dinners. Bedtime. Repeat.

The problem is that routine has a way of tightening around you over time. Not all at once, but slowly.

via GIPHY

Weeks blur together. You’re doing fine. Life isn’t falling apart. But something feels flat. Predictable. Like you’re always reacting and rarely resetting. I’ve felt that more times than I can count, especially as a dad.

Here’s the thing most people don’t talk about: growth almost never happens inside routine. It happens when you step just far enough outside of it to see yourself clearly again.

Comfort is sneaky like that. It doesn’t announce itself. It shows up as reasonable excuses. I don’t have time. Now’s not the season. Maybe later.

Especially as dads, it’s easy to convince ourselves that putting our heads down and grinding is the responsible move. And sometimes it is. But over time, comfort turns into autopilot. Same conversations. Same inputs. Same people. Same expectations of yourself.

You stop challenging your body. You stop challenging your thinking. You stop putting yourself in rooms where your standards get raised. Not because you don’t want more, but because it’s easier not to disrupt the flow.

Before Dad Day, I spent years running events. Startup events in San Francisco. Then an adventure travel company with trips all over the country and internationally. National parks. Costa Rica. The whole thing. I’ve done big events. I’ve done complicated events. I’ve done way overproduced events.

A couple years ago, I was invited to an event in NYC by the team at Ten Thousand. For the first time, I wasn’t organizing anything. I just showed up.

We worked out. Ate good food. Walked the city. Had conversations that weren’t forced. There were speakers, but nothing dragged. There was structure, but also space. It wasn’t flashy or loud, but I left feeling different. Clearer. Lighter. More motivated. More connected.

I still talk to people I met there. I picked up ideas I actually used. And maybe most importantly, it reminded me how powerful it is to be around people who are setting their bars high.

That experience stuck with me.

As a dad, you carry a lot. Your energy matters. Your mindset matters. The way you show up at home matters. And yet, most dads rarely give themselves permission to reset.

Not escape. Reset.

To move their body differently. To hear new perspectives. To be around people who are building things and pushing themselves. To remember that growth doesn’t stop just because life got full.

There’s something that happens when you put yourself in an environment with people who have big goals. Not loud, chest-thumping goals. Real ones. Being better fathers. Better partners. Better humans.

That kind of environment recalibrates you. You don’t come home a new person. You come home more like yourself.

The best resets aren’t dramatic. They’re clarifying. You remember what matters. You regain momentum. You stop sleepwalking through weeks that are supposed to mean something.

That’s what stepping out of routine can do. Not because routine is bad, but because staying in it forever shrinks your perspective. Sometimes you need a weekend, an experience, or a change of scenery to remind yourself what you’re capable of.

That’s true in business. It’s true in fitness. And it’s especially true in fatherhood.

Built for More exists because I wanted to create the kind of experience I wish I had access to more often. Not a conference. Not a retreat full of awkward icebreakers. Not something performative or forced.

Just a small group. Movement. Time outside. Good food. Real conversations. A chance to break routine in a way that actually sticks.

If you’ve felt a little stuck lately, that doesn’t mean you’re failing. It probably just means you’re due for a reset.

Ready to Step Out of Routine?

Built for More is our first in-person experience, happening April 30 to May 2 in Charleston, SC. We’re capping it at 25 dads to keep it tight and intentional. It’s only 2.5 days, so you’re not away from the fam that long.

Still long enough to step out of the routine to come back sharper.

Early bird pricing is still live, and once spots are gone, they’re gone.

👉 Check out the event and grab your spot here.

And if you’re on the fence, we’re happy to hop on a call and chat. Just head over to our contact page and hit us up. Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself and your family is say yes to the reset.

If you want to be a better parent, here’s the uncomfortable truth:

You have to parent yourself first.

That’s not Instagram fluff. That’s straight from Daniel G. Amen, one of the most well-known brain doctors in the world — and a guy who’s spent decades studying how our thoughts literally shape our brains.

In a short but powerful clip making the rounds on Instagram, Dr. Amen drops a line every dad should sit with for a minute:

“You want to be a really good parent? Number one, you have to parent yourself.”

No toys. No hacks. No parenting tricks. Just you. And the voice in your head.

The Chatter That’s Always On

Dr. Amen asks a deceptively simple question:

What’s the chatter going on in your head like?

Is it:

  • Thoughtful?

  • Kind?

  • Loving?

  • Forgiving?

Or is it:

  • Harsh

  • Critical

  • Short-tempered

  • Always assuming the worst

Because here’s the part that hits hardest: That voice? That’s the voice your kids eventually inherit.

Not because you tell them to. But because they watch you live with it.

You’re Modeling More Than You Think

We spend a lot of time worrying about how we talk to our kids. But we spend almost no time thinking about how we talk to ourselves.

  • When you blow a fuse in traffic.
  • When you beat yourself up for missing a workout.
  • When you replay a mistake from work for the hundredth time.

Your kids are learning something in those moments.

They’re learning:

  • How men handle stress

  • How men respond to failure

  • How men speak to themselves when things don’t go their way

As Dr. Amen puts it, the first step to raising mentally strong kids is managing the thoughts in your own head.

Why This Comes From a Brain Doctor (Not a Motivational Poster)

Dr. Amen isn’t just tossing out feel-good advice.

He’s the founder of Amen Clinics and a pioneer in brain imaging using SPECT scans. His work has shown — over and over — that thought patterns physically affect the brain.

Negative self-talk isn’t just “in your head.”
It’s wiring your brain toward stress, anxiety, and reactivity.

And when dads live in that mode? Kids feel it.

Not because we’re bad fathers. But because brains are contagious.

A Simple Gut Check for Dads

Here’s a quick exercise worth trying tonight.

Ask yourself:

If I talked to my kid the way I talk to myself… would I be proud of that? If the answer makes you uncomfortable, good. That’s the work.

Parenting yourself doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine or chanting affirmations in the mirror.

It means:

  • Catching the spiral before it runs the show

  • Replacing “I’m screwing this up” with “I’m learning”

  • Coaching yourself the way you’d coach your son or daughter

Firm. Encouraging. On their side.

The Real Flex of Fatherhood

We all want confident, resilient kids. But confidence isn’t taught. It’s absorbed.

And resilience doesn’t come from perfect parents. It comes from watching imperfect parents regulate themselves, reset, and keep going.

That starts upstairs…in the six inches between your ears.

Dad Day Takeaway

Parenting isn’t just what you say to your kids. It’s what you say to yourself when no one’s listening.

Clean that up, and you’re already ahead of the game.

Once upon a time, greeting another man was simple. You stuck out your hand. He stuck out his hand. You shook. Eye contact. Done.

Then 2020 happened and turned the handshake into a psychological obstacle course. Now every greeting feels like a split‑second game of rock, paper, scissors where the loser feels awkward for the next ten minutes.

Is this guy a handshake guy? A fist bump guy? A hugger? A wave from six feet away guy who still keeps his mask in the glove compartment just in case?

Welcome to the Post‑Covid Handshake Era.

This is your field guide.

Why This Is Weird Now

The handshake used to be muscle memory. It was automatic.

Covid broke that muscle memory.

Some guys spent years actively avoiding hand contact like it was radioactive. Others never stopped shaking hands. Today, it still feels a little awkward.

We’ve become a generation of men who half-commit to greetings. Hands extended, then pulled back. Fists turning into open palms. Awkward laughs covering deep confusion.

This guide exists so you do not have to relive that moment again.

The Five Greeting Archetypes You Will Encounter

1. The Formal Handshake Guy

This guy never stopped. Firm grip. Two pumps. Direct eye contact. He probably owns real leather shoes and still writes thank‑you notes. We’re all for it. No knock here.

How to handle it: If he goes in strong, meet him there. Commit fully. A weak handshake here is worse than no handshake at all.

Rule: Never out‑formal the Formal Handshake Guy. Just match his energy.

2. The No‑Touch Guy

Hands in pockets. Little wave. Polite nod. He is not rude. He is cautious. Or tired. Or both.

How to handle it: Don’t force the contact.

A nod and a “good to see you” is more than enough. Confidence here is non‑attachment.

3. The Fist Bump Loyalist

The fist bump is clean. Efficient. Emotionally neutral.

How to handle it: The key is timing. Present the fist early and clearly. Half fists create chaos.

Bonus tip: Don’t add sound effects. Just own the bump, man. Once again, commit fully.

4. The Bro Hugger

One arm. Chest tap. Quick release. Usually reserved for friends, teammates, or guys you have shared a grill with.

How to handle it: If you hesitate, you will collide. If you commit, it works.

Lead with a smile. Angle the body. One arm only. Anything more turns it into an awkward moment.

5. The Chaos Hybrid

This guy doesn’t know what he wants, and neither do you. Handshake turns into fist bump turns into half hug.

This is the most dangerous archetype.

How to handle it: Slow down. Let him lead. Mirror what he does, not what you think he might do.

The Universal Dad Rule

When in doubt, pause for half a beat. That micro‑pause lets the other guy declare his intentions. Rushing is what creates the infamous hand‑fist‑thumb lock that will haunt you at 2 a.m.

Calm beats cool every time.

The Bigger Lesson

This isn’t really about handshakes. It’s about reading the room. And adapting without making it weird. Your kids are watching how you navigate these moments. They are learning how to meet the world. Literally.

Show them that being a man is not about forcing tradition or rejecting it.

It’s about awareness.

Four weeks into flu season, one dad dropped a message into the Dad Day Slack that felt a little too familiar. 4 weeks is how long he and his wife have been stuck trading colds like Pokémon cards. Cough clears up. New sniffles arrive. Energy never quite comes back.

Workouts? Paused.
Routines? Shot.
Mood? Somewhere between “meh” and “please don’t talk to me.”

And the replies came flooding in.

“Same here.”
“Month six over here.”
“Kids bring home EVERYTHING.”

Welcome to flu season with kids in daycare. If you’re in it, this isn’t a failure of discipline or immunity. It’s the tax we all pay for tiny humans with sticky hands and zero personal boundaries.

What followed was a surprisingly helpful dad field report — no miracle cures, just what’s actually helped guys stay upright while the germs run wild.

Here’s the playbook.

First, the Big Truth Dads Need to Hear

This stretch is normal.

Daycare kids are basically exposure therapy with shoes. Families pass bugs around. It can last weeks. Sometimes months. And ironically, this brutal stretch often leads to fewer sick days later as immune systems level up.

It’s not fun. But it is part of the deal.

Once you accept that, everything else gets easier.

What Dads Are Actually Using to Stay Healthy (or at Least Functional)

No silver bullets. Just tools that help tilt the odds.

The Supplement Stack (Nothing Exotic)

These came up over and over:

  • Zinc – often at the first sign of symptoms

  • Vitamin C – basic, cheap, still useful

  • Vitamin D – especially in darker winter months

  • Elderberry – polarizing, but plenty of dads swear by it

None of these are magic. Think support, not prevention.

Gut Health = Immune Health

A lot of dads mentioned probiotics, especially after back-to-back illnesses. The logic is simple: if your gut’s wrecked, your immune system usually is too. Yogurt, kefir, probiotic supplements — pick your lane.

Old-School Dad Medicine Still Has a Place

Call it placebo. Call it tradition. It still shows up:

  • Raw garlic

  • Honey

  • Ginger

  • Smoothies packed with frozen fruit and greens

  • Cod liver oil (for the truly committed)

You’re not trying to cure the flu. You’re trying to feel 10–20% better, which honestly matters.

Symptom Management > Heroics

A lot of dads said the same thing:
Stop trying to “power through.”

  • Nasal sprays

  • Decongestants

  • Throat lozenges

  • Hot showers and steam

You’re not weak for managing symptoms. You’re strategic.

IV Therapy: Not Cheap, Sometimes Effective

A few dads mentioned IV hydration or vitamin drips helped them feel human again, temporarily.

Not necessary. Not a cure. But if you’re deep in the hole and need a reset, some found it useful.

The Movement Rule: Don’t Go to Zero

This one might’ve been the most important takeaway. When you’re sick for weeks, the instinct is to shut everything down. Total rest. Couch mode. No movement at all.

Most dads agreed that’s a mistake.

The rule: 👉 Don’t go to zero.

That can look like:

  • A walk around the block

  • A long warm-up

  • One set of pushups

  • Bodyweight squats

  • Stretching for 10 minutes

Movement keeps the rust off. It keeps routines alive. And it makes the return to real workouts way less painful. You’re not training. You’re maintaining the signal.

The Mental Side Nobody Warns You About

The physical symptoms are annoying. The mental drag is worse.

When routines fall apart, it’s easy to spiral:

  • “I’m losing momentum.”

  • “I’ll start again next week.”

  • “What’s the point?”

That’s normal too.

This is where the dad wisdom kicked in: Zoom out. A rough month doesn’t erase years of consistency. Your job right now isn’t optimization. It’s not making things worse.

Rest when you need it. Move when you can. Laugh at how absurd it is that your kid sneezed once and now the house is under quarantine.

A Flu Season Reality Check for Dads

  • You’re not broken

  • Your immune system isn’t trash

  • You didn’t “fall off”

You’re just parenting during flu season. No silver bullet. Just dads comparing notes, sharing what helped, and reminding each other that this phase passes — even if it takes longer than we’d like.

If you’re in it right now, you’re not doing anything wrong.

You’re just in the trenches.

Most parenting advice is optional.

This isn’t.

In this Instagram video, Dr. Michael Milobsky—pediatrician, dad of seven, and someone who’s actually had to use these skills—breaks down the three things every parent needs to know about choking.

He’s not speculating. He’s not repeating a checklist. He’s telling you what saved his own child’s life.

Watch the Video

Video and profile screenshot courtesy of Michael Milobsky, MD (@pedsatthemeadows).

Why This Video Matters

Choking doesn’t give you time to Google. By the time you call 911, the damage may already be done. That’s why knowing what to do immediately matters more than knowing what to do perfectly.

Dr. Milobsky’s video cuts through panic and focuses on action—what actually works when a child is choking in front of you.

The Big Idea

Most choking incidents:

  • Happen at home

  • Involve toddlers

  • Occur when kids are eating and moving

The goal isn’t to be calm. The goal is to be decisive.

As Dr. Milobsky explains, hesitation—or doing the wrong thing with good intentions—can make a bad situation worse.

The 3 Rules Every Dad Should Know

1. Don’t Blindly Stick Your Finger in Their Mouth

This is the instinct. And it’s dangerous.

A child’s airway isn’t straight—it’s shaped like a funnel. If you can’t see the object, blindly sweeping with your finger can push it deeper and lodge it permanently.

Rule:
👉 Only try to remove it if you can clearly see and grab it.

2. If They’re Coughing or Making Noise—Let Them

Noise is good.

If your child is coughing, gagging, or making sounds, their body is still working to clear the airway.

Rule:
👉 Don’t interfere yet. Let them cough.

No sound = it’s time to act.

3. Back Blows First, Then Abdominal Thrusts

If your child can’t breathe or make noise:

Step one:
Deliver firm back blows between the shoulder blades. Harder than feels comfortable.

If that doesn’t work:

Step two:
Perform abdominal thrusts just below the breastbone—forcefully, in and up.

That exact sequence is what dislodged the food and saved Dr. Milobsky’s own child.

The Most Important Prevention Tip

Almost every choking incident Dr. Milobsky has seen—including in his own home—had the same setup: A child walking around while eating.

Kids should eat:

  • Sitting down

  • Staying still

  • Fully focused

No snacks on the move. No bites during play.

Simple rule. Massive payoff.

The Real Takeaway

This video isn’t meant to scare you. It’s meant to prepare you.

  • Watch it.
  • Rewatch it.
  • Send it to your partner.

And then hope you never need it.

When I first read Shoe Dog, I wasn’t looking for parenting advice. I was looking for business inspiration—grit, risk, vision, all that good stuff.

But halfway through the book, somewhere between maxed-out credit cards and Nike barely surviving another year, it hit me: This isn’t just a startup memoir. It’s a fatherhood book—just written sideways. Not about kids. About the kind of man kids grow up watching.

The Real Theme of Shoe Dog: Living With Uncertainty

Strip away the swooshes and success and Shoe Dog is really about doubt. Long stretches where nothing feels impressive. Years where the outcome is unclear.

Phil Knight didn’t have a master plan. He didn’t know Nike would work. He just kept moving forward anyway.

That’s dad life.

Most days of fatherhood don’t feel heroic. They feel uncertain. You wonder if you’re doing enough, if you’re screwing it up, if everyone else somehow knows what they’re doing better than you.

Here’s the comfort Shoe Dog offers dads: you don’t need certainty. You need commitment.

Progress Beats Confidence (A Dad Skill No One Teaches)

Knight didn’t wait until he felt ready. He shipped, adjusted, survived another year, and did it again.

Parenting works the same way. You don’t become a great dad because you read the right books or feel confident all the time. You become a great dad because you keep showing up without guarantees.

You don’t know how your kid will turn out. You don’t know which moments will matter most. You don’t know if today’s choice was the “right” one.

Neither did Phil Knight. He just didn’t quit.

The Myth of “Having It Together”

From the outside, Nike looks inevitable. From the inside, according to Shoe Dog, it was chaos held together by belief and stubbornness. That’s true for dads, too.

Your kids don’t see your inner doubts. They see whether you try. Whether you recover. Whether you keep going when things are hard.

That’s the lesson. Not perfection. Not confidence. Momentum.

Playing the Long Game Without a Scoreboard

One of the most underrated ideas in Shoe Dog is patience. Nike didn’t win quickly. It survived, then survived again, then survived some more.

Fatherhood has the same timeline. There’s no scoreboard. No quarterly results. No applause. Just quiet consistency. Bedtime stories. Car rides. Regular Tuesdays that don’t feel special until years later.

You’re building something you won’t fully see for decades. That’s not inefficiency. That’s legacy.

Identity Matters More Than Outcomes

Phil Knight wasn’t obsessed with being rich. He was obsessed with running, with craft, with building something meaningful. Good dads aren’t obsessed with outcomes either. They care about being steady, being available, being someone their kids feel safe copying.

You don’t need to be extraordinary. You need to be clear on who you are.

If Shoe Dog Had Dad Advice

If that book could talk, it would probably say this:

  • Don’t wait until you feel ready. Build anyway.
  • Your kids don’t need a finished product. They need a builder—someone willing to try, fail, learn, and keep going.

That’s the real win.

My Takeaway

We don’t need more parenting hacks. We need more long-term thinkers. More builders. More dads willing to live unfinished lives out loud. Because one day, your kid will look back and realize you didn’t have it all figured out, but you never stopped showing up.

That’s a hell of a legacy.

A weird thing happens when you become a dad. Days feel long. Years feel short. You can spend an entire afternoon negotiating snacks, shoes, and car seats…Then blink and realize another year is gone.

We usually chalk it up to being busy. More responsibilities. More routines. More plates spinning. But here’s a different idea — one that stuck with me because it actually explains the feeling:

Time doesn’t feel fast because life is busy. It feels fast because life becomes predictable.

And predictability is a memory killer.

The Real Reason Time Speeds Up

Your brain isn’t a clock. It’s a highlight reel. When days are filled with newness, your brain records more moments. When days run on autopilot, it hits “save space” mode.

  • Same routes.
  • Same schedules.
  • Same conversations.
  • Same screens.

Nothing stands out, so nothing sticks. That’s why childhood felt endless. Every week had firsts. Every season felt different.

Adulthood? Not so much. And fatherhood, especially, is ripe for this trap.

Autopilot Is the Enemy of Memory

Think about a random Tuesday from six months ago.

Can’t picture it? That’s not age. That’s autopilot. When life runs on repeat, the brain compresses time. Days blur into weeks. Weeks disappear into years. This doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong as a dad.

It means you’re efficient. And efficiency is great for work. Terrible for memory.

The Dad Trap: Doing Everything “Right”

Here’s the quiet danger for modern dads:

We optimize everything.

  • The fastest route.
  • The safest park.
  • The most efficient bedtime routine.
  • The smoothest weekend schedule.

Before you know it, life becomes frictionless. And frictionless lives leave fewer memories.

Your kids won’t remember that you were consistent. They’ll remember when something felt different.

How to Slow Time Without Adding More to Your Calendar

This isn’t about doing more. It’s about doing slightly different. Small novelty stretches time. Big overhauls aren’t necessary.

Here are simple ways dads can break autopilot without blowing up their routines:

1. Change the Pattern, Not the Plan

Same walk after dinner? Take a different turn.

Same Saturday park? Try a new one once a month.

Same bedtime book? Let them pick something weird.

The brain notices deviation — even small ones.

2. Let It Take Longer

This one’s hard. Let them help… even when it’s slower. Let them struggle… even when you could do it faster. Speed kills memory. Participation creates it. They won’t remember efficiency. They’ll remember being included.

3. Do “Firsts” on Purpose

First hot chocolate walk. First flashlight hike. First backyard campout. First dad-and-kid breakfast run. Firsts anchor memories.

You don’t need Disneyland. You need novelty.

4. Break the Script Once a Week

Surprise ice cream on a school night. Take the long way home. Eat dinner outside for no reason. Unplanned moments hit harder because they’re unexpected. That’s memory fuel.

Why This Matters More Than We Think

Here’s the quiet truth dads don’t talk about enough:

These years don’t disappear because they’re short. They disappear because they blur. When everything looks the same, it feels like it happened faster.

Slowing time isn’t about stopping the clock. It’s about giving your brain more moments worth saving.

This Is About Presence, Not Perfection

You don’t need to become a Pinterest dad. You don’t need themed activities or curated moments. You just need to disrupt autopilot.

  • A little novelty.
  • A little friction.
  • A little intention.

That’s it.

Rule of Thumb

If life feels like it’s speeding up, ask yourself one question:

“What’s new this week?”

If the answer is “nothing,” time will keep accelerating. If the answer is anything, even small — you’re stretching it.

Final Thought

We can’t slow time. But we can slow how fast it feels. And for dads in the thick of it, that might be the most important skill we ever learn.

Break autopilot once this week — for you, and for them.

Parenting during the holidays can feel like controlled chaos. Less structure. More sugar. More screen time. More meltdowns.

In this Dad Lab session, we sat down with Kirk Martin, founder of the Calm Parenting Podcast and Celebrate Calm, to talk about how dads can navigate meltdowns without yelling, threatening, or escalating the situation.

This conversation is packed with real-world strategies you can use immediately.

Watch the Full Dad Lab Session

Calm Parenting Strategies Every Dad Should Know (Live Dad Lab Session)

What This Session Covers

Kirk breaks down why meltdowns happen and how dads can respond in a way that actually works.

Key themes include:

  • Why kids melt down more during the holidays

  • The difference between discipline and punishment

  • How dads unintentionally escalate situations

  • Why tone and body language matter more than words

  • How movement and space help kids regulate emotions

One Shift That Changes Everything

One of the most important ideas from the session is this: You cannot calm a child down if you are not calm yourself. Kids read tone, posture, and energy before they process words. When dads slow things down and stay grounded, kids follow.

That’s leadership, not permissiveness.

Practical Takeaways for Dads

Here are a few strategies Kirk recommends:

  • Use an even, matter-of-fact tone instead of yelling or whispering

  • De-escalate before trying to discipline

  • Introduce movement to reset emotions

  • Give kids space instead of hovering

  • Model the behavior you want to see

None of this is about being perfect. It’s about being intentional.

Want More Like This?

Dad Lab is a live series where we bring in experts to help dads get better at the stuff that matters. Parenting. Health. Money. Mindset.

If this session resonated, make sure you’re subscribed to Dad Day and keep an eye out for the next Dad Lab.

If you are a dad, you know the feeling. Life gets loud. Work deadlines. Kid schedules. A garage that looks like a Home Depot had a meltdown. Most of us are not short on things to do. We are short on intention.

Which is why Jesse Itzler hits so hard.

He is an entrepreneur, ultra endurance athlete, co founder of Marquis Jet, early partner at Zico Coconut Water, owner of the Atlanta Hawks, bestselling author, and creator of the famous Big Ass Calendar (worth a look if you have never seen it: ). He also happens to be a guy who built a big life while staying highly present as a husband and father.

His recent video titled If you want 2026 to be the best year of your life is basically Jesse handing you his entire operating system. It is simple, practical, and built to snap you out of autopilot.

Below is our hot take on it: useful, and written for dads who want a year they can actually remember living.

Why This Video Matters for Dads

Dads drift. It happens slowly. School pickups, work sprints, coaching soccer, a weekend Costco run. You look up and the whole year evaporated.

Jesse’s system stops the drift. It forces you to pause, reflect, clean house, and design a year instead of reacting to one.

This is not a vision board. It is a blueprint.

THE BIG IDEA: Play 2026 on Offense

Jesse’s philosophy:

If you do not plan the year, the year will plan itself. And you probably will not like the result.

Most dads live on defense. We respond to whatever hits our inbox, our calendar, or our kitchen table. Jesse flips it. He wants you attacking life, not absorbing it.

His method has three parts:

  1. Close out the year with intention.

  2. Identify what needs fixing.

  3. Schedule the good stuff first.

1. Close Out 2025 Like a Pro

Before you build 2026, Jesse wants you to clear the runway. Think of this as the dad version of cleaning the garage before starting a big project.

Do a What Worked and What Did Not Audit

Two columns. Be honest. What actually moved your life forward. What drained you. What you tolerated instead of solved.

Declutter Everything

Physical clutter. Digital clutter. Emotional clutter.
Clean the closet. Empty the junk drawer. Delete files you know you will never use. A clear environment creates momentum. A messy one steals it.

Handwritten Thank You Letters

This is Jesse’s superpower. He writes thank you letters to people who impacted his year.

It is old school. It is rare. And it builds real connection.

More important for dads. Your kids see you modeling gratitude and relationship building. That lines up perfectly with our Dad Day principle of creating a life worth copying.

Write five to ten letters. Keep them real and specific.

2. Run Your Life Through the Blender

Jesse’s Life Blender exercise is simple and brutally clarifying.

Rate the major areas of your life from one to ten.

  • Health
  • Marriage
  • Parenting
  • Fun
  • Career
  • Finances
  • Community
  • Personal Growth

Pick the two or three categories that need the most attention. Not everything should be a priority. Most dads score lowest on fun, health, marriage time, and personal adventure.

That is the signal. Those are your 2026 levers.

3. Build Your Year With Jesse’s Offense Trifecta

Here is where the magic happens. Jesse organizes his entire year using three tools that create momentum instead of waiting for it.

A. Mogis

These are your year defining accomplishments. The big wins you will remember years from now.

Examples:

  • Run a half marathon
  • Take a one on one trip with your kid
  • Start guitar lessons
  • Launch a side business
  • Repair a relationship
  • Complete a 75 day challenge

Pick two to four. No more.

B. Kevin’s Rule

Every sixty days you schedule one new experience. Something you have never done before.

This is the antidote to the dad rut.

Ideas
-Go to a jujitsu class
-Go to a concert with your teenager
-Take a cooking class
-Camp in the backyard with your kid
-Visit a city you have never seen

Newness keeps you awake. It also shows your kids that adulthood is not a slow fade into routine.

C. One Winning Habit Per Quarter

Not ten habits. One habit every ninety days.

Examples
Q1: 10,000 steps per day
Q2: Phone free bedroom
Q3: Weekly date night
Q4: Strength training

Stack four habits and you are a completely different dad by next December.

4. Use the Big Ass Calendar to Schedule the Fun First

This is Jesse’s signature move.

Most dads plan the year like this:

  • Work
  • Kids’ activities
  • Random obligations
  • Maybe a little time for yourself if anything is left

Jesse plans it like this:

  • Fun
  • Mogis
  • Adventures
  • Family experiences
  • Then work fills in the remaining space

It is simple. If you do not aggressively schedule the life you want, someone else will.

That is why his Big Ass Calendar is so effective. You can see the entire year at a glance. You cannot hide from blank space.

Color code it
-Blue for family adventures
-Red for personal Mogis
-Green for health habits
-Yellow for work
-Black for personal reset days

When you schedule the meaningful stuff first, life gets better instantly.

The Takeaway: Build a Year Your Kids Will Remember You Living

This system is not about productivity. It is about presence.

Your kids do not need a perfect dad. They need a dad who is awake. A dad who is intentional. A dad who takes action. A dad who builds a life worth copying. (Our past Dad Day newsletters echo this exactly. Kids watch the pattern. Not the perfection. )

Jesse’s method is your blueprint.

  • Audit the past.
  • Plan the future.
  • Put the fun on the calendar early.
  • Live on offense.

Your kids are watching. Give them something worth imitating.