We came across this video on IG the other day. Two guys talking about what actually turns boys into men and men into stronger men. Not motivational fluff, not chest-thumping. Real stuff. The stuff you feel in your gut.

Scott Galloway, who talks like your brutally honest uncle who happens to teach at NYU. Chris Williamson, the ex-club promoter turned philosopher-podcaster who has made self-development cool without making it cringe.

Different lanes. Same take. Men grow through risk. The right kinds. The kinds we avoid as adults because life gets comfortable.

And as dads, this hit a nerve. Our kids are watching how we deal with risk. Not the big dramatic stuff. The daily stuff.

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Why This Conversation Matters for Dads

Somewhere between your first paycheck and your first kid, life gets padded. You stop doing things that scare you a little. You play for safe decisions, safe routines, safe circles. Before you know it, you are living the same year on repeat.

Galloway and Williamson basically say: that is how men shrink.

The fix is simple. Put yourself in places that stretch you. Not crazy risk. Just uncomfortable growth.

And your kids notice. More than you think.

The Big Idea

Galloway kicks things off with a strong hit. Young men should intentionally walk into rooms where they feel outmatched. Better schools. Better jobs. Better people. Go where you are slightly unqualified and grow into the version of you who belongs there.

Williamson adds that you really are the average of the five people closest to you. Not just your friends but also the voices you let into your earbuds.

For dads, this is a quiet reminder. Kids copy what they see. If you only choose safe rooms, they will too.

The Process: The Risks That Build Men

These are the hits from the convo. Think of them as reps you can actually do.

1. Get into rooms where you feel behind

Not because you like feeling behind. Because it forces you to level up.

2. Choose high-character friends

Not rich guys. Not impressive guys. Men you genuinely admire. The kind who make you want to be better.

3. Be the person who lifts others

There is a study in the video. Turns out high school popularity was about who made others feel good, not who had the best jawline or fastest 40. Appreciation is a superpower.

4. Train confidence like a skill

Compliments. Conversations. Taking small chances. Williamson calls it evidence. Confidence comes from doing the thing a little before you feel ready.

The Sauce

A few things the video hints at, even if it does not say them outright:

  • Initiate instead of waiting for permission

  • Surround yourself with men who sharpen you

  • Use podcasts, books, mentors as your “five friends”

  • Treat relationships like training partners

These are small, repeatable acts. They build character the same way steady workouts build strength.

The Takeaway

Risk is not a one-time act. It is a muscle. It grows from small, daily decisions. Every time you choose the harder conversation, the scarier opportunity, the uncomfortable room, you build a little more confidence.

Your kids do not need you to climb Everest. They need to see you stretch. They need to see you try. They need to see you get uncomfortable on purpose.

That is how men grow. And that is how dads raise kids who are not afraid of life. Be the kind of man who keeps walking toward the hard things. Not to show off. To grow. Your kids will feel that energy. They will copy it. And that might be the most important thing you pass down.

I can’t believe I’m even writing this. Seven years ago, I was holding a newborn and wondering how anyone does this whole “dad” thing. Now, my wife and I are getting ready for our third. It goes fast.

Everyone tells you that, but you never really believe it until you look up and realize your baby is riding a bike, correcting your grammar, or asking questions that make you pause before answering.

Seven years in, here’s what I know for sure.

1. It Goes Way Too Fast

You blink and they’ve changed. The nights feel long, but the years? They vanish. I still remember thinking I’d never sleep again, that my life was permanently on pause.

But now my seven-year-old is sixty pounds and half my height, and I honestly don’t know when the last time I carried him was. No one ever tells you when the last backyard game with your neighborhood crew happens. It’s the same with holding your kids. One day it’s just… the last time, and you don’t realize it until much later.

Don’t rush through the hard parts. Don’t wish for the next stage. Soak in the one you’re in, even if it’s messy, loud, and exhausting. Because it’s quietly slipping away while you’re busy trying to survive it.

what I've learned from 7 years of fatherhood

2. Kids Are Amazing Teachers

I thought parenting was about what I would teach them. Turns out, it’s the opposite. Kids are little mirrors. They reflect your best traits and your worst habits. They remind you to slow down, to laugh at dumb jokes, to actually watch the sunset instead of just snapping a picture of it.

They’ll humble you, test you, and somehow make you better without ever saying a word.

3. Change Comes From Wanting, Not Needing

I’ve changed, not because I was forced to, but because I wanted to. Kids don’t demand perfection. They demand presence (a lot of it). And that quietly forces you to grow up in the best way possible.

I care more about patience now (and the pursuit of it). About legacy. About how I show up. Parenthood doesn’t rewrite who you are; it refines it.

4. The Connection Takes Time

It took me until my kids were around two to feel like a real dad. The love was always there, but the connection changed. At first, it’s survival mode. You’re tired, confused, and mostly wondering if you’re doing any of it right. But then one day, they say “Daddy,” or reach for your hand, or tell you they love you out of nowhere, and it clicks.

It’s not instant for everyone, and that’s okay. The bond grows with time, not just proximity.

5. Some Days Are Really Hard

There are days when parenting feels like the heaviest weight in the world. You’ll lose your patience, question yourself, and wonder what happened to the version of life that felt simpler. And that’s normal. Sometimes I look back at life before kids, not out of regret, but curiosity. Who was that guy who had time to think, sleep, and shower in peace?

Here’s the truth: life didn’t get easier, but it did get richer. Every hard day is still a day with your kid in it. That perspective helps.

6. Take a Breath. They’re Clueless.

Kids don’t know what they don’t know. They’re figuring it out as they go, just like we are. When they spill, cry, lie, or melt down, it’s not personal. It’s human.

Take a breath. Remember they’re learning how to be people. And we’re learning how to be parents. Grace goes both ways.

7. It’s an Honor

Parenting isn’t just a job. It’s an honor. We get to shape these tiny humans. We get to model how to love, how to fail, how to get back up. That’s heavy, sure, but it’s also incredible.

Our kids won’t remember every toy or trip. They’ll remember how we made them feel. That’s the real work.

The Takeaway

Seven years in, I don’t have all the answers. Some days I feel like I’m crushing it; others, like I’m one tantrum away from a breakdown.

But I do know this: fatherhood isn’t about being perfect. It’s about wanting to be the best dad you can be. So take the photo. Read the book twice. Be the calm in the storm.

It’s going fast. Don’t miss the good stuff trying to get to the next thing. Easier said than done, but definitely something to strive for.

There are some moments in fatherhood that you know are going to be big—but then there are the ones that sneak up and absolutely wreck you.

We asked dads which milestone hit them the hardest and hundreds of you responded. The results paint a picture of those unexpected gut-punch moments that make you stop and realize, damn, time is flying.

The Numbers: What Hit Dads the Hardest?

  • 57% – First day of school
  • 21% – First time walking
  • 8% – First heartbreak
  • 8% – Other (unique milestones)
  • 6% – Learning to drive
  • 1% – Graduating high school

The First Goodbye: That First Day of School Hits Different

The overwhelming response? That first day of school. Nearly 6 in 10 dads said this was the moment that hit hardest.

And it makes sense. Unlike first steps—which happen gradually at home—the first day of school is a clean break. A before and after moment.

One day, they’re your little shadow, asking you for snacks every 15 minutes. The next, they’re shouldering a backpack that looks twice their size, walking into a building full of strangers. And you’re just… standing there.

The ride home feels a little quieter. The house suddenly feels too empty. And you realize—this is just the beginning of letting go, one small step at a time.

First Steps, Lasting Impact

For about 1 in 5 dads, it wasn’t school drop-off that hit hardest—it was those first wobbly steps.

There’s something about watching your kid physically move away from you for the first time that triggers something deep. It’s the moment when you realize:

“They’re not just growing—they’re growing away from me.”

You cheer them on, of course. You want them to keep moving forward. But at the same time, you realize that every milestone from here on out is another step toward independence.

The Unexpected Gut Punches

The “Other” category revealed some of the most powerful, unspoken milestones—the ones no one warns you about:

“The last time I walked my son to daycare, knowing the following fall he’d be taking a bus to kindergarten instead. We built a real friendship and some of our best memories on those walks.”

“First haircut. Hit me out of nowhere. Did not expect to get so emotional.”

“My daughter had a significant speech delay. The first clear ‘I love you’ hit hard.”

These are the quiet moments that blindside us. The ones that don’t come with a big announcement, but still mark a shift in fatherhood that you never saw coming.

The Later Years: Do We See It Coming?

Interestingly, the milestones that typically come later—first heartbreak (8%), learning to drive (6%), and high school graduation (1%)—scored much lower.

There could be two reasons for this:

  • Fewer dads in the survey have kids that old yet.
  • Maybe we have more time to prepare for these ones.

We know high school graduation is coming. We expect heartbreak. But that first bus ride to school? That first time they let go of your hand and run ahead? That’s the stuff that hits when you least expect it.

The Takeaway: Why These Moments Wreck Us

What’s clear is that we’re most vulnerable to the earliest transitions—the first real separations.

The first day of school, the first steps, the first haircut, the first time they don’t need you for something.

Maybe that’s why those first-day-of-school pictures hit so hard. It’s not just about them growing up—it’s about us learning to let go, one milestone at a time.

So if you’ve got one of these milestones coming up? Soak it in. Take the picture. Feel the feelings. Because the hard truth is, you don’t always realize it’s the last time until it’s already gone.

Shaun Murray has been doing backflips off wakes since most of us were still trying to parallel park. Orlando local. Pro wakeboarder. YouTuber. Three-time girl dad.
The guy’s lived the kind of life teenage you would’ve doodled on a Trapper Keeper.

But here’s the twist: behind all the airtime and American Ninja Warrior backyard antics, Murray’s dad game is straight-up grounded. Practical. Thoughtful. And honestly? Pretty dang refreshing.

The Hard Stuff (AKA: Every Parent’s Tightrope)

Ask him the toughest part of parenting and he doesn’t talk about travel or work-life balance or raising teenagers.

He says this:

“Guiding kids toward making the right decisions and them continuing to like me while doing so.”

That’s the whole job, right? Lead them. Shape them. Nudge them. But don’t lose the relationship in the process.

Shaun’s figured out the rare middle lane—firm hand, open heart. And yes, some laughing in between, because that’s the part he calls the most rewarding.

The Best New-Dad Advice You’ve Never Heard

Most dads would say something like “sleep when the baby sleeps.”

Shaun? He hits you with a mic drop:

“Show up empty-handed.”

Literally.

When you get home, don’t carry bags, boxes, backpacks, or your whole day’s stress through the door. Leave it all in the car.

Now your hands are free—for your kids, for your partner, for the little moment you miss when you’re juggling Amazon returns and a laptop.

You can hug, scoop, wrestle, high-five. You can even invite them outside to help you carry stuff in. This is dad presence in its purest form. Zero cost. Massive ROI.

The Wisdom That Stuck

Shaun’s dad wasn’t dropping Instagram quotes before breakfast—but he did give him two gems that Shaun now passes to his girls:

  1. “You become who your friends are.”
    Simple. Brutal. True. And maybe the most important filter a kid can learn early.

  2. Write down the funny stuff.
    Kids are walking stand-up specials, and your brain will absolutely forget 99% of it. Shaun’s dad literally kept a book. Shaun keeps a note on his phone. You should too.

A Day in the Life of a Pro Wakeboard Dad

When he’s home, Shaun’s day looks like the ideal mix of discipline and play:

  • Up before 6. Coffee. A few pages of the Bible. Prayer.

  • 7:00 AM → Wake the kids, help with the morning scramble.

  • 8:00 AM → Office catch-up.

  • Rest of the day:

    • Shooting/editing content

    • Backyard ninja workouts (yes, he’s competed on the show four times)

    • Wakeboarding, foiling, trampoline sessions

    • House projects

    • Cooking on his new griddle (his words: “love it more than a grill”)

It’s a buffet of creativity, movement, and dad-ing—exactly the stuff kids remember.

The Good Stuff

Ask Shaun his favorite part of having kids?

“Getting on the boat together. And when they start driving me while wakeboarding—pretty epic.”

That’s a dad dream:
Your kids growing into the life you love, and then literally pulling you into it.

His non-negotiable?

Family trips.
No debating. No rescheduling. Load the car.

When He’s Flying Solo

The dude doesn’t slow down.

He’s either:

  • Playing guitar or piano

  • Running heavy machinery like an overgrown Tonka-truck fan

  • Or even messing with RC equipment like he did on the Sandbox Boys Podcast

If it moves, Shaun’s operating it.

A Few Things Every Dad Can Steal from Shaun

  • Show up empty-handed. The simplest “be present” hack we’ve ever heard.

  • Laugh with your kids. Not at them. With them. It builds something deep.

  • Curate their circle. Because who they run with becomes who they are.

  • Capture the moments. The funny stuff disappears if you don’t catch it.

  • Keep adventure normal. Your hobbies become their memories.

  • Take the trips. Don’t wait for the perfect time. It doesn’t exist.

The Dad Day Close

Shaun Murray proves something big: You can chase wild goals, build a career doing the thing you loved as a kid, run a household, raise three daughters—and still show up at the door with open hands.

Modern fatherhood isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence, momentum, and a little wake spray in the face along the way.

If you want more Murray in your life:
YouTube → @Shaun.Murray
Instagram → @shaunmurray