I can’t believe I’m even writing this. Seven years ago, I was holding a newborn and wondering how anyone does this whole “dad” thing. Now, my wife and I are getting ready for our third. It goes fast.
Everyone tells you that, but you never really believe it until you look up and realize your baby is riding a bike, correcting your grammar, or asking questions that make you pause before answering.
Seven years in, here’s what I know for sure.
1. It Goes Way Too Fast
You blink and they’ve changed. The nights feel long, but the years? They vanish. I still remember thinking I’d never sleep again, that my life was permanently on pause.
But now my seven-year-old is sixty pounds and half my height, and I honestly don’t know when the last time I carried him was. No one ever tells you when the last backyard game with your neighborhood crew happens. It’s the same with holding your kids. One day it’s just… the last time, and you don’t realize it until much later.
Don’t rush through the hard parts. Don’t wish for the next stage. Soak in the one you’re in, even if it’s messy, loud, and exhausting. Because it’s quietly slipping away while you’re busy trying to survive it.
2. Kids Are Amazing Teachers
I thought parenting was about what I would teach them. Turns out, it’s the opposite. Kids are little mirrors. They reflect your best traits and your worst habits. They remind you to slow down, to laugh at dumb jokes, to actually watch the sunset instead of just snapping a picture of it.
They’ll humble you, test you, and somehow make you better without ever saying a word.
3. Change Comes From Wanting, Not Needing
I’ve changed, not because I was forced to, but because I wanted to. Kids don’t demand perfection. They demand presence (a lot of it). And that quietly forces you to grow up in the best way possible.
I care more about patience now (and the pursuit of it). About legacy. About how I show up. Parenthood doesn’t rewrite who you are; it refines it.
4. The Connection Takes Time
It took me until my kids were around two to feel like a real dad. The love was always there, but the connection changed. At first, it’s survival mode. You’re tired, confused, and mostly wondering if you’re doing any of it right. But then one day, they say “Daddy,” or reach for your hand, or tell you they love you out of nowhere, and it clicks.
It’s not instant for everyone, and that’s okay. The bond grows with time, not just proximity.
5. Some Days Are Really Hard
There are days when parenting feels like the heaviest weight in the world. You’ll lose your patience, question yourself, and wonder what happened to the version of life that felt simpler. And that’s normal. Sometimes I look back at life before kids, not out of regret, but curiosity. Who was that guy who had time to think, sleep, and shower in peace?
Here’s the truth: life didn’t get easier, but it did get richer. Every hard day is still a day with your kid in it. That perspective helps.
6. Take a Breath. They’re Clueless.
Kids don’t know what they don’t know. They’re figuring it out as they go, just like we are. When they spill, cry, lie, or melt down, it’s not personal. It’s human.
Take a breath. Remember they’re learning how to be people. And we’re learning how to be parents. Grace goes both ways.
7. It’s an Honor
Parenting isn’t just a job. It’s an honor. We get to shape these tiny humans. We get to model how to love, how to fail, how to get back up. That’s heavy, sure, but it’s also incredible.
Our kids won’t remember every toy or trip. They’ll remember how we made them feel. That’s the real work.
The Takeaway
Seven years in, I don’t have all the answers. Some days I feel like I’m crushing it; others, like I’m one tantrum away from a breakdown.
But I do know this: fatherhood isn’t about being perfect. It’s about wanting to be the best dad you can be. So take the photo. Read the book twice. Be the calm in the storm.
It’s going fast. Don’t miss the good stuff trying to get to the next thing. Easier said than done, but definitely something to strive for.
There are some moments in fatherhood that you know are going to be big—but then there are the ones that sneak up and absolutely wreck you.
We asked dads which milestone hit them the hardest and hundreds of you responded. The results paint a picture of those unexpected gut-punch moments that make you stop and realize, damn, time is flying.
The Numbers: What Hit Dads the Hardest?
- 57% – First day of school
- 21% – First time walking
- 8% – First heartbreak
- 8% – Other (unique milestones)
- 6% – Learning to drive
- 1% – Graduating high school
The First Goodbye: That First Day of School Hits Different
The overwhelming response? That first day of school. Nearly 6 in 10 dads said this was the moment that hit hardest.
And it makes sense. Unlike first steps—which happen gradually at home—the first day of school is a clean break. A before and after moment.
One day, they’re your little shadow, asking you for snacks every 15 minutes. The next, they’re shouldering a backpack that looks twice their size, walking into a building full of strangers. And you’re just… standing there.
The ride home feels a little quieter. The house suddenly feels too empty. And you realize—this is just the beginning of letting go, one small step at a time.
First Steps, Lasting Impact
For about 1 in 5 dads, it wasn’t school drop-off that hit hardest—it was those first wobbly steps.
There’s something about watching your kid physically move away from you for the first time that triggers something deep. It’s the moment when you realize:
“They’re not just growing—they’re growing away from me.”
You cheer them on, of course. You want them to keep moving forward. But at the same time, you realize that every milestone from here on out is another step toward independence.
The Unexpected Gut Punches
The “Other” category revealed some of the most powerful, unspoken milestones—the ones no one warns you about:
“The last time I walked my son to daycare, knowing the following fall he’d be taking a bus to kindergarten instead. We built a real friendship and some of our best memories on those walks.”
“First haircut. Hit me out of nowhere. Did not expect to get so emotional.”
“My daughter had a significant speech delay. The first clear ‘I love you’ hit hard.”
These are the quiet moments that blindside us. The ones that don’t come with a big announcement, but still mark a shift in fatherhood that you never saw coming.
The Later Years: Do We See It Coming?
Interestingly, the milestones that typically come later—first heartbreak (8%), learning to drive (6%), and high school graduation (1%)—scored much lower.
There could be two reasons for this:
- Fewer dads in the survey have kids that old yet.
- Maybe we have more time to prepare for these ones.
We know high school graduation is coming. We expect heartbreak. But that first bus ride to school? That first time they let go of your hand and run ahead? That’s the stuff that hits when you least expect it.
The Takeaway: Why These Moments Wreck Us
What’s clear is that we’re most vulnerable to the earliest transitions—the first real separations.
The first day of school, the first steps, the first haircut, the first time they don’t need you for something.
Maybe that’s why those first-day-of-school pictures hit so hard. It’s not just about them growing up—it’s about us learning to let go, one milestone at a time.
So if you’ve got one of these milestones coming up? Soak it in. Take the picture. Feel the feelings. Because the hard truth is, you don’t always realize it’s the last time until it’s already gone.
