Your kid isn’t the problem. The internet is just very, very good at its job.

It was designed by the smartest engineers on earth to hold attention for as long as possible. It works on adults. It absolutely works on kids. And if you don’t have a plan, the algorithm does.

Here are 10 family tech rules for kids that hold up in the real world.

Rule 1: Phones Sleep Outside the Bedroom

This one is non-negotiable in our book. The bedroom is for sleep. The phone is not. When a device lives on a nightstand, it doesn’t just disrupt sleep. It becomes the last thing kids think about and the first thing they reach for. Neither of those is good.

Get a cheap charging station in the kitchen or hallway. Everyone plugs in before bed, including you. Make it the norm, not the punishment.

Rule 2: The Internet Earns Trust, It Doesn’t Start With It

New device means limited access. As your kid demonstrates judgment, access expands. This isn’t about distrust. It’s about building a track record. We do this with cars. We do this with curfews. We should do it with the internet too.

Start narrow. Widen with time and evidence.

Rule 3: You Know the Password to Everything

Every app. Every account. Every platform. This isn’t surveillance. It’s the same reason you know where your kid is going on a Friday night. They’re not in trouble. You’re just in the loop.

If an app doesn’t allow parent access, that app doesn’t live on your kid’s phone. Simple math.

Rule 4: Screens Don’t Come to the Table

Meals are one of the few moments in a day where a family is in the same room with no agenda. Don’t give that up for TikTok. This means everyone, you included. The research on this is clear: one of the strongest predictors of a child’s screen time is a parent’s screen time. (NPR) You can’t ask them to put it down if yours is face-up next to the salt.

Set the standard. Then live it.

Rule 5: Boredom Is Not a Screen Emergency

When your kid says they’re bored, the answer is not a device. Boredom is where creativity lives. It’s where kids figure out what they actually like. When we fill every quiet moment with a screen, we rob them of that.

Let them be bored. They’ll figure it out.

A house that cares about what food goes in the body should also care about what media goes in the mind.

Rule 6: Content Has Consequences

What goes into the brain matters. This isn’t about sheltering. It’s about standards. A house that cares about what food goes in the body should also care about what media goes in the mind. Talk about it directly. Ask what they’re watching. Watch it with them sometimes. You can’t shape what you don’t know about.

Rule 7: Screens Off One Hour Before Bed

Children age 8 to 18 in the United States average seven and a half hours of screen time per day. (AACAP) A good chunk of that is happening right before sleep and it’s wrecking their ability to fall asleep and stay asleep. Sleep-deprived kids are harder to parent and harder to teach. The one-hour wind-down isn’t optional.

Read. Talk. Decompress. Then sleep.

Rule 8: Real Life Comes First

Homework done. Chores done. Time outside. Then screens. This order matters. When screens are available before the other stuff, the other stuff never gets done with any intention. You’re just waiting for it to be over.

Flip the sequence. Everything changes.

Rule 9: We Talk About What We See Online

The worst thing that happens to kids online usually isn’t the thing they stumble into. It’s the thing they feel like they can’t tell you about. Create a standing policy in your house: if you see something weird, uncomfortable, or confusing online, you bring it to dad. No judgment. No phone confiscation. Just a conversation.

Kids are more likely to follow rules they help create. (Center for Online Safety) Include them in this one. Ask what they think the rules should be. You might be surprised.

Rule 10: Model the Life You Want Them to Have

This is the one that hurts. Because most of us aren’t setting great examples. We pick up the phone at dinner. We scroll before we get out of bed. We half-listen to our kids while checking email. And then we wonder why they can’t put it down.

You can’t outsource this to parental controls. The most powerful thing you can do is let your kids see you choosing presence over a screen. Not perfectly. Just consistently enough that they know what it looks like.

That’s the whole job.

Before You Close This Tab

Here is where most dads stand. Check the ones you have locked in. Start on the rest this week.

  • ☐ Phones out of the bedroom
  • ☐ Internet earns trust, it doesn’t start with it
  • ☐ You know every password
  • ☐ No screens at the table
  • ☐ Boredom is allowed
  • ☐ Content has standards
  • ☐ Screens off one hour before bed
  • ☐ Real life comes first
  • ☐ Open door policy for what they see online
  • ☐ You are modeling it
  • ☐ Daily time limit is set
  • ☐ No hiding screens from each other
  • ☐ Tech-free day is on the calendar
  • ☐ Rules get reviewed every year

If you checked five or more, you are ahead of most. If you checked fewer than five, pick one and start there. Progress beats perfection every time.

We send practical stuff like this every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday to 50,000 dads who are figuring it out as they go. No noise. No fluff. Just the good stuff.

Join them here. It is free.

Some of the best memories we have involve a dock, a rod, and a dad who had the patience to sit there with us.

That’s what this is about.

Getting your kid into fishing isn’t complicated. It doesn’t require a boat, a tackle collection, or years of experience. It requires a rod, some bait, a body of water, and showing up.

This guide covers everything. Gear, location, technique, what fish to target, how to keep kids engaged, and what to do when they inevitably get bored 20 minutes in. Whether you’ve fished your whole life or have never held a rod, we’ve got you covered.

Let’s get into it.

Why Fishing Is One of the Best Things You Can Do With Your Kid

Before the gear list, a quick word on why this matters.

Fishing teaches patience. Real patience, not the fake kind. The kind where you sit with uncertainty and learn to be okay with it.

It teaches cause and effect. Cast here, not there. Use this bait, not that one. Adjust the depth. Try again.

It’s screen-free time that doesn’t feel like punishment. Kids love it because something might happen at any second. The bobber might go under. There might be something on the line. That anticipation keeps them locked in better than almost anything else.

And it’s one of the few activities where a six-year-old and a 45-year-old can fish side by side and have the exact same experience. Same water. Same chance. No age advantage.

That’s the magic of it.

Start Here: The One Rule That Makes or Breaks the First Trip

Before we talk gear and fish, we need to talk about this.

The goal of your first fishing trip is not to catch fish.

The goal is for your kid to have fun and want to go again.

Keep the first trip short. One to two hours max. Pick a spot where fish are plentiful and easy to catch. Bring snacks. Bring patience. Celebrate every single thing, the cast that almost worked, the bite they missed, the tiny fish they threw back.

The first trip plants the seed. Every trip after that grows it.

If you push too long, pick a hard spot, get frustrated, or make it feel like school, you lose them. And you may not get a second chance.

One good hour beats a miserable four-hour marathon every time.

What Fish to Target First: The Beginner’s Best Friend

If you want your kid to actually catch something, start with bluegill.

Bluegill are found in virtually every freshwater pond, lake, and river across the United States except Alaska. They’re aggressive biters, they fight surprisingly hard for their size, and they’re absolutely everywhere. A public pond in a city park almost certainly has bluegill in it right now.

Here’s why bluegill are perfect for kids:

They bite constantly. No sitting for two hours waiting for a nibble. Bluegill will hit a worm on a hook within minutes of it hitting the water in a good spot. That constant action is everything for a kid’s attention span.

They’re small enough for kids to handle. A typical bluegill runs 6 to 10 inches. A kid can hold one, look at it, show it to dad, and release it without drama.

They’re basically everywhere. You don’t need to travel. You don’t need a boat. A local pond with a grassy bank is perfect.

Other great beginner species: crappie, sunfish, yellow perch, and small catfish. All easy to find, all aggressive biters, all manageable for small hands.

Save bass, walleye, and trout for later. They’re great fish, but harder to catch consistently, and a day of zero bites will end a kid’s fishing career before it starts.

Where to Fish: Finding the Right Spot

You don’t need to know a secret honey hole. You need to know how to find accessible public water near you.

Local ponds and lakes in city or county parks are your best starting point. These are often stocked with panfish by your state fish and wildlife agency. They have accessible banks, sometimes docks, and are designed for exactly this kind of casual fishing.

State park lakes and reservoirs are another great option. Most states have a system of public fishing areas with easy bank access.

Fishing piers and docks are ideal for young kids. Stable footing, easy casting, and fish tend to congregate underneath them naturally.

How to Find Spots Near You

Search “[your state] fishing license” and go to your state fish and wildlife agency website. Most states have a public fishing area finder that maps every accessible public body of water near you. The Fishbrain app is also solid for finding local spots and seeing what other anglers are catching there.

What Makes a Good Beginner Spot

Calm, accessible bank. Shallow water with some structure nearby like docks, fallen trees, or weeds. Easy parking. Ideally somewhere the kid can also run around a bit while you rig up, because they will not stand still and wait.

Fishing Licenses: Don’t Skip This

Every adult needs a fishing license. Kids under a certain age are usually exempt but this varies by state.

Get yours before you go. You can buy a fishing license online through your state fish and wildlife agency website in about five minutes. They’re typically $20 to $40 for an annual resident license.

If you’re not sure about regulations in your area, the state agency website has everything. Don’t wing it. Getting cited for fishing without a license is an annoying and preventable way to ruin a good trip.

The Gear: Keep It Simple

Here’s where a lot of dads overthink it. You do not need expensive gear to catch fish with a kid. You need gear that’s easy to use, hard to break, and appropriate for the fish you’re targeting.

For a first trip with a young kid, you need four things. A rod and reel, some line, a hook, a bobber, and bait. That’s it.

The Rod and Reel

For kids under 8: Zebco Splash Spincast Combo

The Zebco Splash is specifically designed for young kids and it floats if they drop it in the water. That’s not a joke. The floating design alone makes it worth having around docks and boats. Push-button spincast reel, no-tangle design, pre-spooled with 6-pound line. Around $20. This is a great starter rod.

For kids 8 and up: Ugly Stik GX2 Youth Combo

The Ugly Stik is a real rod, not a toy. It’s been around forever, it’s nearly indestructible, and it performs well above its price point. The GX2 Youth Combo comes with a solid spinning reel pre-spooled and ready to go. Around $40 to $50. This rod will last several years and multiple kids.

For older kids or teens ready to step up: Zebco Roam Spinning Combo

A step up in quality and length, the Roam is a legit rod that can grow with them from panfish to bass. Around $40 to $60. A great investment if your kid is genuinely hooked on the sport.

For dads who want their own rod: If you’re fishing alongside your kid and you want your own setup without spending a lot, the Shakespeare Ugly Stik Camo Spinning Combo around $35 to $50 is solid and reliable for pond and lake fishing.

The Tackle: What You Actually Need

Don’t buy a giant tackle box. For bluegill and panfish, here’s all you need:

Hooks: Size 6 or 8 Aberdeen hooks. Light wire, easy to bait, good for small fish. Buy a pack of 50 for a few dollars.

Bobbers: Round clip-on bobbers in red and white. The classic. Clip it on the line about 18 inches above the hook for shallow water, 2 to 3 feet for deeper water.

Split shot sinkers: Small weights you crimp onto the line between the hook and bobber to keep the bait down. Buy a small assorted pack.

That’s it. Seriously. Three items plus the bait below and you are ready to catch fish.

The Bait: Start With Worms

Nothing catches more panfish more consistently than a live worm. Nothing.

Pick up a container of nightcrawlers or red worms at any bait shop or Walmart sporting goods section. Usually $3 to $5. Thread a small piece of worm onto the hook, cast near structure like docks, fallen trees, or weedy edges, and wait for the bobber to go down.

When it goes down, that’s a fish. Set the hook with a quick, firm upward motion of the rod tip. Reel it in.

That is the entire technique. Your kid can absolutely do this.

If worms gross your kid out, try PowerBait Trout Nuggets or small pieces of hot dog. We’re not judging. A fish is a fish.

How to Teach Your Kid to Cast

This is where most first-timers struggle. Casting with a spinning rod takes some practice. That’s why we recommend a spincast push-button rod for younger kids first.

Push-button spincast casting (Zebco style): Hold the rod with your dominant hand. Press and hold the button on the back of the reel. Point the rod tip toward your target. Bring the rod back behind your shoulder (not too far). Push forward and release the button when the rod tip is aimed at where you want the bait to go. That’s the cast. Practice it in the backyard with the hook removed and a small piece of rubber as a casting plug before you ever get to the water.

Spinning reel casting: Hold the rod in your dominant hand. Open the bail (the wire loop) with your other hand. Hook the line with your index finger and close the bail. Bring the rod back, cast forward, and release your finger as the rod tip passes your target. This takes more practice but gives much better control and distance. Teach this to kids 8 and up who have the coordination for it.

Pro tip for teaching: Don’t just explain it. Stand behind them and guide their arm through the motion two or three times. Muscle memory beats verbal instruction every time with kids.

The Setup: Step by Step

Here’s the exact rig for catching bluegill on your first trip.

  1. Tie your hook to the end of the line using a simple improved clinch knot. There are YouTube videos that teach this in 60 seconds. Practice it at home the night before.
  2. Clip a round bobber onto the line about 18 to 24 inches above the hook.
  3. Crimp a tiny split shot sinker onto the line between the bobber and the hook to keep the bait sinking naturally.
  4. Thread a small piece of worm onto the hook. You don’t need to cover the whole hook. A piece the size of your thumbnail is enough.
  5. Cast near structure. Docks, fallen logs, weedy edges, shaded areas near overhanging trees. Bluegill love shade and cover.
  6. Watch the bobber.
  7. When it goes under, set the hook and reel.

That is a complete fishing system that will catch fish today in virtually any freshwater pond or lake in the country.

Keeping Kids Engaged: What to Do When They Get Bored

Kids will get bored. Accept it. Have a plan.

Keep a bucket of water nearby. Let them catch the fish and put it in the bucket to look at before releasing it. The up-close fish observation buys you another 20 minutes easy.

Give them a job. Let them bait the hook if they’re old enough. Let them cast. Let them hold the rod and watch the bobber. Ownership keeps them in it.

Set small goals. “Let’s catch three fish and then we’ll get ice cream.” Attainable targets keep kids motivated better than open-ended fishing sessions.

Let them roam a little. If there’s a safe area for them to explore, throw rocks, or catch frogs nearby, let them. They’ll come back when something bites.

Don’t force it. When they’re done, they’re done. Pack up cheerfully and talk about coming back next weekend. Ending on their terms means they’ll want to come again.

The Gear Checklist for Your First Trip

Print this out or screenshot it before you go.

  • Rod and reel (rigged and ready)
  • Extra hooks (size 6 or 8)
  • Bobbers
  • Split shot sinkers
  • Live bait (worms from any bait shop)
  • Small needle-nose pliers (for removing hooks safely)
  • Sunscreen
  • Bug spray
  • Snacks and drinks
  • A small bucket (to hold the catch for viewing)
  • Fishing license (for any adult)
  • A good attitude (non-negotiable)

A Note to Dads Who Don’t Fish

If you’ve never fished before, that’s okay. Better than okay, actually. Learning alongside your kid is one of the most connected experiences you can have with them.

You don’t need to be the expert. You need to be the guy who shows up, figures it out, laughs when it doesn’t work, and tries again.

The fish are secondary. The morning together is the whole point.

Get the Zebco, buy the worms, find a local pond, and go. You’ll figure out the rest on the water. Millions of people have done exactly this with no experience and come home with a kid who can’t stop talking about it.

That’s all this is.

Let us save you the 15 hours of reading we just did. The research is not subtle. It is not mixed. It is not “well, it depends.”

Screens are doing real damage to kids. And the younger the kid, the worse it is.

We know that’s not what you want to hear when you’re trying to get through a flight or survive a restaurant dinner or just finish one phone call without someone losing their mind. We get it. We’ve been there. We’ve all been there.

But “it’s convenient” is not the same as “it’s okay.” And it’s time we stopped pretending they’re the same thing.

Here’s everything you actually need to know.

The Numbers That Should Wake You Up

Before we get into the research, let’s just talk about where things stand right now.

  • Toddlers aged 2 to 5 are averaging about 3.5 hours of screen time per day. Kids aged 8 to 10 average 6 hours. Eleven to fourteen year olds are hitting 9 hours a day. Older teens clock around 7.5 hours.
  • Forty percent of 2-year-olds already own their own tablet. By age 4 that number climbs to 58%.

Read those sentences again.

We’re not talking about kids occasionally watching a movie on a rainy Saturday afternoon. We’re talking about screen exposure on par with a part-time job. Starting in diapers.

And somehow we’re surprised that anxiety, depression, and attention disorders are at generational highs.

Jonathan Haidt Said the Quiet Part Out Loud

If you haven’t heard of Jonathan Haidt, he’s a social psychologist out of NYU who spent years researching exactly this. His 2024 book “The Anxious Generation” sat on the New York Times nonfiction bestseller list for over 52 consecutive weeks. It topped the list five times. Oprah endorsed it. Governors sent copies to each other.

His argument is simple and devastating.

Somewhere around 2010 to 2015, we made a collective decision as a society. We handed kids smartphones. We gave them Instagram and TikTok and YouTube and gaming. And in doing so, we replaced what Haidt calls the play-based childhood with the phone-based childhood.

We didn’t think about it much. It happened gradually and then all at once.

The results showed up almost immediately. Anxiety rates surged. Depression rates surged. Self-harm rates among teenage girls went up. Loneliness went up. Sleep went down. Close friendships went down.

And this wasn’t just a self-reporting issue. The behavior changes showed up in hospitalizations, in emergency room visits, in actual clinical data. It happened in the United States. It happened in the UK, Canada, Australia, and across Europe. All at roughly the same time. Right when smartphones hit mass adoption.

Haidt’s line that stuck with me: “We have overprotected our children in the real world and underprotected them online.”

We won’t let them ride their bikes around the block alone. But we’ll hand them a portal to the entire internet at age 7 and call it fine.

What the Research Actually Found

Okay. Let’s go through what the science says is happening to kids’ brains and bodies. Category by category.

The Brain

New research published in late 2025 followed children for more than a decade and found that high screen exposure before age two was linked to accelerated brain maturation in some regions and slower decision-making later on. Kids with more screen time in infancy showed premature specialization in brain networks involved in visual processing and cognitive control.

Which sounds good until you realize premature specialization reduces flexibility. Those kids had slower reaction times at age eight and higher rates of anxiety at age thirteen.

The critical window here is under two years old. Screens before age two predicted long-term brain changes. Screens at age three or four did not show the same effect. That’s how sensitive those early years are.

A separate study in Psychological Medicine found that infant screen time altered brain networks that govern emotional regulation. But here’s the hopeful part: parent-child reading could counteract some of those changes. Shared reading provided the kind of back-and-forth engagement, language exposure, and emotional connection that passive screen consumption just doesn’t deliver.

More screens equals less of that. Less screens equals more.

Attention and ADHD

Multiple studies have now linked excessive screen time, especially fast-paced interactive media like social media and video games, to shortened attention spans and ADHD-related behaviors.

The mechanism isn’t complicated. Fast-paced content constantly rewards the brain with novelty. Dopamine gets triggered. The brain starts to expect that level of stimulation. Real life, school, conversation, reading, can’t compete. So the brain checks out.

Haidt identifies attention fragmentation as one of four core harms of the phone-based childhood. And it’s not theoretical. Teachers across the country have been saying for years that kids can’t focus the way they used to. Now there’s biology behind the complaint.

Sleep

Screen time before bed disrupts melatonin production. Melatonin is the hormone that tells your brain it’s time to sleep. Blue light from screens suppresses it.

The result? Kids who use devices in the evening take longer to fall asleep, sleep fewer total hours, and wake up less rested. And poor sleep in kids does not just mean a cranky morning. It compounds across time into mood disorders, cognitive impairment, and behavioral problems.

The same research Haidt cites shows that between 2010 and now, the number of teens getting less than seven hours of sleep per night has increased significantly. That’s not coincidence. That’s causation wearing a very thin disguise.

Anxiety and Depression

This is the big one.

The correlation between smartphone adoption and adolescent mental health decline is one of the most consistent findings in recent research. Across dozens of studies, across multiple countries, the trend is the same.

Mental health among young people started getting measurably worse right around 2012. That’s when smartphone penetration hit the tipping point. That’s when Instagram got going. That’s when the phone-based childhood began in earnest.

Girls are hit harder by social media. The comparison loops, the constant social evaluation, the exposure to image-based content that warps body image, it compounds in ways that are uniquely brutal for adolescent girls.

Boys are hit differently. Gaming and pornography and digital entertainment gradually crowd out real-world relationships, ambition, and the motivation to do hard things. Haidt describes it as a slow creep that changes behavior without the kid even realizing what’s happening.

Both are bad. Just bad in different directions.

Heart and Metabolic Health

A 2025 study published in the Journal of the American Heart Association found that screen time in childhood and adolescence is associated with cardiometabolic and cardiovascular disease risk. Not just mental health. Actual heart health.

More screen time means less movement. Less movement means higher BMI, worse metabolic markers, and greater cardiovascular risk down the road. The research on the more-than-two-year-old who watches a lot of TV already showed a correlation between screen time and higher BMI.

Kids who are on screens are not outside. They are not moving. They are not building the physical foundation that will carry them into adulthood.

iPads and Phones Are Not the Same as TV

Here’s where we need to draw a clear line. And Haidt actually makes this distinction himself, which is important.

Passive storytelling, a movie, a TV show with a beginning middle and end, is different from interactive, reward-based, variable-schedule content. Variable-ratio reinforcement is the same mechanism behind slot machines. You don’t know when the reward is coming so you keep going. Social media likes. YouTube autoplay. Game unlocks. Swipe. Pull down to refresh. Repeat.

That’s what an iPad in a young kid’s hands delivers. Not a story. A slot machine.

A movie has a narrative arc. It ends. It can be a shared experience. A family sits around and watches a film together and that’s actually a bonding moment. Haidt explicitly gives this a pass.

The iPad alone in a room? Different animal entirely. The phone? Don’t even start.

This is not about being anti-technology for the sake of it. It’s about understanding that these products were designed by rooms full of very smart people whose entire job was to make them as addictive as possible. They did their job well. Our kids are on the receiving end of that.

The Opportunity Cost Nobody Talks About

Here’s Haidt’s most underrated point and it’s the one I think about most as a dad.

The harm of screen time isn’t only what the screen does to the brain. It’s what the screen replaces.

Every hour a kid spends on an iPad is an hour they are not:

Building something. Figuring something out. Getting bored and then solving their own boredom. Playing with other kids and navigating actual social dynamics. Reading. Climbing something. Getting scraped up and learning they can handle it. Using their imagination in a way that nobody else can script or optimize for them.

Play is not optional for kids. It’s not a reward for finishing homework. Play is how children wire their brains.

Mammals have played for 200 million years. It’s the mechanism. And we’ve quietly been replacing it with a screen because it’s easier in the short term.

“We have outsourced the entertainment of our children,” Haidt says, “to the cheapest, most addictive solution we could find.”

That’s what an iPad is. Cheap entertainment designed to keep kids occupied so adults can get things done. I’m not judging. I’m just being honest about what it is.

So What Do You Actually Do

Here’s where I give you the practical part instead of just leaving you feeling terrible.

Under two: zero screens. This is the American Academy of Pediatrics recommendation and the research supports it hard. Video chatting with grandparents is the one exception most experts allow. Everything else can wait. Their brain is in a critical wiring window. Protect it.

Two to five: less than one hour on weekdays, slightly more on weekends. And the content matters. Slow, narrative, age-appropriate shows. Not YouTube autoplay. Not games. Not anything with a variable reward schedule. Sit with them and watch it together when you can.

Six and up: set firm limits and stick to them. The research does not show a cliff where screens suddenly become fine. The problems just become different as kids get older. Keep limits. Keep phones out of bedrooms. Keep mealtimes screen-free.

No smartphones until high school at the earliest. Haidt recommends waiting until high school or even 8th grade at minimum. The “Wait Until 8th” pledge is a real thing. Thousands of families have signed it. The idea is collective action because no kid should have to be the only one without a phone. Do it together with other families in your school or neighborhood.

Replace the screen with something real. This is the part parents skip. You can’t just take away the iPad without filling the void. Get outside. Build something. Have them help cook dinner. Let them get bored. Boredom is not a problem. Boredom is where creativity lives. If they say there’s nothing to do, you’re doing it right. Give it twenty minutes and watch what happens.

Hold the line even when it’s hard. Every kid who doesn’t have a smartphone thinks they’re the only one. They’re not. More parents are drawing this line than you think. The number is growing. The culture is shifting. You’re not weird for protecting your kid. You’re paying attention.

The Honest Bottom Line

The research is not complicated.

Screens mess with developing brains. They disrupt sleep. They fragment attention. They replace play. They wire kids for anxiety and comparison and the need for constant stimulation. The younger the child, the more damage is done. The more interactive and reward-based the screen, the worse it is.

TV, in reasonable amounts, with good content, watched together as a family? That’s fine. That’s always been fine.

An iPad handed to a toddler to keep them quiet? That’s a different thing entirely. That’s borrowing against your kid’s future for a few minutes of convenience today.

You already knew this. The research just confirms what your gut has been telling you.

Put the iPad away. Go outside with your kid. That’s the whole article.

The other night I was in the garage, reorganizing absolutely nothing, when a song came on that I hadn’t heard in years.

It was Higher by Creed. Seventeen-year-old me used to blast it with the windows down, convinced I understood life. Then I grew up, discovered irony, and decided my music taste had “evolved.”

But standing there between a half-assembled shelf and a bag of grass seed, I didn’t skip it. I turned it up. And it sounded… good.

That’s when it hit me: something has shifted. Not dramatically. Not overnight. But steadily, quietly, over the past few years of becoming a dad.

I Get Choked Up Now

I was never the emotional guy.

  • Breakups? Managed.
  • Stress? Internalized.
  • Movies? Unmoved.

Now I find myself clearing my throat during car commercials. A dad teaching his daughter to drive. A kid hitting a game-winner while his parents lose their minds in the stands. The ending of Toy Story 3? Forget it.

Fatherhood doesn’t turn you fragile. It removes your emotional armor. Once you’ve held your own kid, the world feels more personal. Every story about a child hits closer. Every moment of pride feels earned.

You don’t cry because you’re weaker. You cry because you understand more.

I Care About Things I Used to Mock

I used to think adults were dramatic about household stuff. Now I have strong opinions about lawn stripes. About thermostat settings. About the correct way to load a dishwasher.

The house isn’t just a place anymore. It’s the backdrop of your kids’ childhood. It’s where scraped knees get cleaned up and bedtime stories get read. When something feels off, it’s not about control, it’s about stewardship.

You stop seeing chores as chores. You start seeing them as maintenance on the life you’re building.

Sleep Is a Performance Tool

In my twenties, I optimized for fun. Now I optimize for sleep. Seven and a half hours feels like a competitive advantage. Five hours feels like I’m negotiating a hostage situation with a toddler at 6:12 a.m.

Patience requires fuel. And kids burn through it fast.

My Social Life Got Smaller…And Better

Here’s one nobody talks about.

You don’t just lose time. You lose tolerance. I don’t want to sit around complaining about work, politics, or how “crazy things are right now.” If I’m leaving my house at night, which already feels like a logistical operation, I want to spend it around positive people who are getting after it.

Building something. Training for something. Thinking bigger. Being good dads. The circle gets smaller. But the quality goes up. You realize energy is finite. And who you spend it with matters.

Risk Feels Different

I still believe in big swings. Start the thing. Build the thing. Bet on yourself. But now there’s a second layer to the calculation. Before kids, failure bruised your ego. Now it affects the people who call you Dad.

That doesn’t make you timid. It makes you measured. You’re not less ambitious. You’re more responsible. The math changes when it’s not just your landing anymore.

Music From Your Past Sounds Different

When I was seventeen, Creed felt dramatic and intense.

Now it feels nostalgic. It reminds me of a version of myself who worried about curfews and college applications, not daycare costs and pediatrician copays. Listening to it doesn’t make me young again. It just connects me to who I’ve been.

You don’t go back to old songs because they’re cool. You go back because they anchor you.

The Shift No One Talks About

The biggest change isn’t your taste in music or your bedtime. It’s your tenderness.

You’re quicker to forgive. Slower to judge. More aware of how short everything is. You look at other kids and realize they’re someone’s whole world. You think about your own parents differently. You start to understand their worry, their exhaustion, their quiet sacrifices.

Becoming a dad didn’t harden me the way I expected. It deepened me. I didn’t lose my edge. I lost my indifference.

And honestly? That’s a trade I’ll take.

Routine isn’t a bad thing. Most of us work hard to build one. Morning schedules. Work blocks. kids’ activities. Family dinners. Bedtime. Repeat.

The problem is that routine has a way of tightening around you over time. Not all at once, but slowly.

via GIPHY

Weeks blur together. You’re doing fine. Life isn’t falling apart. But something feels flat. Predictable. Like you’re always reacting and rarely resetting. I’ve felt that more times than I can count, especially as a dad.

Here’s the thing most people don’t talk about: growth almost never happens inside routine. It happens when you step just far enough outside of it to see yourself clearly again.

Comfort is sneaky like that. It doesn’t announce itself. It shows up as reasonable excuses. I don’t have time. Now’s not the season. Maybe later.

Especially as dads, it’s easy to convince ourselves that putting our heads down and grinding is the responsible move. And sometimes it is. But over time, comfort turns into autopilot. Same conversations. Same inputs. Same people. Same expectations of yourself.

You stop challenging your body. You stop challenging your thinking. You stop putting yourself in rooms where your standards get raised. Not because you don’t want more, but because it’s easier not to disrupt the flow.

Before Dad Day, I spent years running events. Startup events in San Francisco. Then an adventure travel company with trips all over the country and internationally. National parks. Costa Rica. The whole thing. I’ve done big events. I’ve done complicated events. I’ve done way overproduced events.

A couple years ago, I was invited to an event in NYC by the team at Ten Thousand. For the first time, I wasn’t organizing anything. I just showed up.

We worked out. Ate good food. Walked the city. Had conversations that weren’t forced. There were speakers, but nothing dragged. There was structure, but also space. It wasn’t flashy or loud, but I left feeling different. Clearer. Lighter. More motivated. More connected.

I still talk to people I met there. I picked up ideas I actually used. And maybe most importantly, it reminded me how powerful it is to be around people who are setting their bars high.

That experience stuck with me.

As a dad, you carry a lot. Your energy matters. Your mindset matters. The way you show up at home matters. And yet, most dads rarely give themselves permission to reset.

Not escape. Reset.

To move their body differently. To hear new perspectives. To be around people who are building things and pushing themselves. To remember that growth doesn’t stop just because life got full.

There’s something that happens when you put yourself in an environment with people who have big goals. Not loud, chest-thumping goals. Real ones. Being better fathers. Better partners. Better humans.

That kind of environment recalibrates you. You don’t come home a new person. You come home more like yourself.

The best resets aren’t dramatic. They’re clarifying. You remember what matters. You regain momentum. You stop sleepwalking through weeks that are supposed to mean something.

That’s what stepping out of routine can do. Not because routine is bad, but because staying in it forever shrinks your perspective. Sometimes you need a weekend, an experience, or a change of scenery to remind yourself what you’re capable of.

That’s true in business. It’s true in fitness. And it’s especially true in fatherhood.

Built for More exists because I wanted to create the kind of experience I wish I had access to more often. Not a conference. Not a retreat full of awkward icebreakers. Not something performative or forced.

Just a small group. Movement. Time outside. Good food. Real conversations. A chance to break routine in a way that actually sticks.

If you’ve felt a little stuck lately, that doesn’t mean you’re failing. It probably just means you’re due for a reset.

Ready to Step Out of Routine?

Built for More is our first in-person experience, happening April 30 to May 2 in Charleston, SC. We’re capping it at 25 dads to keep it tight and intentional. It’s only 2.5 days, so you’re not away from the fam that long.

Still long enough to step out of the routine to come back sharper.

Early bird pricing is still live, and once spots are gone, they’re gone.

👉 Check out the event and grab your spot here.

And if you’re on the fence, we’re happy to hop on a call and chat. Just head over to our contact page and hit us up. Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself and your family is say yes to the reset.

If you want to be a better parent, here’s the uncomfortable truth:

You have to parent yourself first.

That’s not Instagram fluff. That’s straight from Daniel G. Amen, one of the most well-known brain doctors in the world — and a guy who’s spent decades studying how our thoughts literally shape our brains.

In a short but powerful clip making the rounds on Instagram, Dr. Amen drops a line every dad should sit with for a minute:

“You want to be a really good parent? Number one, you have to parent yourself.”

No toys. No hacks. No parenting tricks. Just you. And the voice in your head.

The Chatter That’s Always On

Dr. Amen asks a deceptively simple question:

What’s the chatter going on in your head like?

Is it:

  • Thoughtful?

  • Kind?

  • Loving?

  • Forgiving?

Or is it:

  • Harsh

  • Critical

  • Short-tempered

  • Always assuming the worst

Because here’s the part that hits hardest: That voice? That’s the voice your kids eventually inherit.

Not because you tell them to. But because they watch you live with it.

You’re Modeling More Than You Think

We spend a lot of time worrying about how we talk to our kids. But we spend almost no time thinking about how we talk to ourselves.

  • When you blow a fuse in traffic.
  • When you beat yourself up for missing a workout.
  • When you replay a mistake from work for the hundredth time.

Your kids are learning something in those moments.

They’re learning:

  • How men handle stress

  • How men respond to failure

  • How men speak to themselves when things don’t go their way

As Dr. Amen puts it, the first step to raising mentally strong kids is managing the thoughts in your own head.

Why This Comes From a Brain Doctor (Not a Motivational Poster)

Dr. Amen isn’t just tossing out feel-good advice.

He’s the founder of Amen Clinics and a pioneer in brain imaging using SPECT scans. His work has shown — over and over — that thought patterns physically affect the brain.

Negative self-talk isn’t just “in your head.”
It’s wiring your brain toward stress, anxiety, and reactivity.

And when dads live in that mode? Kids feel it.

Not because we’re bad fathers. But because brains are contagious.

A Simple Gut Check for Dads

Here’s a quick exercise worth trying tonight.

Ask yourself:

If I talked to my kid the way I talk to myself… would I be proud of that? If the answer makes you uncomfortable, good. That’s the work.

Parenting yourself doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine or chanting affirmations in the mirror.

It means:

  • Catching the spiral before it runs the show

  • Replacing “I’m screwing this up” with “I’m learning”

  • Coaching yourself the way you’d coach your son or daughter

Firm. Encouraging. On their side.

The Real Flex of Fatherhood

We all want confident, resilient kids. But confidence isn’t taught. It’s absorbed.

And resilience doesn’t come from perfect parents. It comes from watching imperfect parents regulate themselves, reset, and keep going.

That starts upstairs…in the six inches between your ears.

Dad Day Takeaway

Parenting isn’t just what you say to your kids. It’s what you say to yourself when no one’s listening.

Clean that up, and you’re already ahead of the game.

Once upon a time, greeting another man was simple. You stuck out your hand. He stuck out his hand. You shook. Eye contact. Done.

Then 2020 happened and turned the handshake into a psychological obstacle course. Now every greeting feels like a split‑second game of rock, paper, scissors where the loser feels awkward for the next ten minutes.

Is this guy a handshake guy? A fist bump guy? A hugger? A wave from six feet away guy who still keeps his mask in the glove compartment just in case?

Welcome to the Post‑Covid Handshake Era.

This is your field guide.

Why This Is Weird Now

The handshake used to be muscle memory. It was automatic.

Covid broke that muscle memory.

Some guys spent years actively avoiding hand contact like it was radioactive. Others never stopped shaking hands. Today, it still feels a little awkward.

We’ve become a generation of men who half-commit to greetings. Hands extended, then pulled back. Fists turning into open palms. Awkward laughs covering deep confusion.

This guide exists so you do not have to relive that moment again.

The Five Greeting Archetypes You Will Encounter

1. The Formal Handshake Guy

This guy never stopped. Firm grip. Two pumps. Direct eye contact. He probably owns real leather shoes and still writes thank‑you notes. We’re all for it. No knock here.

How to handle it: If he goes in strong, meet him there. Commit fully. A weak handshake here is worse than no handshake at all.

Rule: Never out‑formal the Formal Handshake Guy. Just match his energy.

2. The No‑Touch Guy

Hands in pockets. Little wave. Polite nod. He is not rude. He is cautious. Or tired. Or both.

How to handle it: Don’t force the contact.

A nod and a “good to see you” is more than enough. Confidence here is non‑attachment.

3. The Fist Bump Loyalist

The fist bump is clean. Efficient. Emotionally neutral.

How to handle it: The key is timing. Present the fist early and clearly. Half fists create chaos.

Bonus tip: Don’t add sound effects. Just own the bump, man. Once again, commit fully.

4. The Bro Hugger

One arm. Chest tap. Quick release. Usually reserved for friends, teammates, or guys you have shared a grill with.

How to handle it: If you hesitate, you will collide. If you commit, it works.

Lead with a smile. Angle the body. One arm only. Anything more turns it into an awkward moment.

5. The Chaos Hybrid

This guy doesn’t know what he wants, and neither do you. Handshake turns into fist bump turns into half hug.

This is the most dangerous archetype.

How to handle it: Slow down. Let him lead. Mirror what he does, not what you think he might do.

The Universal Dad Rule

When in doubt, pause for half a beat. That micro‑pause lets the other guy declare his intentions. Rushing is what creates the infamous hand‑fist‑thumb lock that will haunt you at 2 a.m.

Calm beats cool every time.

The Bigger Lesson

This isn’t really about handshakes. It’s about reading the room. And adapting without making it weird. Your kids are watching how you navigate these moments. They are learning how to meet the world. Literally.

Show them that being a man is not about forcing tradition or rejecting it.

It’s about awareness.

Four weeks into flu season, one dad dropped a message into the Dad Day Slack that felt a little too familiar. 4 weeks is how long he and his wife have been stuck trading colds like Pokémon cards. Cough clears up. New sniffles arrive. Energy never quite comes back.

Workouts? Paused.
Routines? Shot.
Mood? Somewhere between “meh” and “please don’t talk to me.”

And the replies came flooding in.

“Same here.”
“Month six over here.”
“Kids bring home EVERYTHING.”

Welcome to flu season with kids in daycare. If you’re in it, this isn’t a failure of discipline or immunity. It’s the tax we all pay for tiny humans with sticky hands and zero personal boundaries.

What followed was a surprisingly helpful dad field report — no miracle cures, just what’s actually helped guys stay upright while the germs run wild.

Here’s the playbook.

First, the Big Truth Dads Need to Hear

This stretch is normal.

Daycare kids are basically exposure therapy with shoes. Families pass bugs around. It can last weeks. Sometimes months. And ironically, this brutal stretch often leads to fewer sick days later as immune systems level up.

It’s not fun. But it is part of the deal.

Once you accept that, everything else gets easier.

What Dads Are Actually Using to Stay Healthy (or at Least Functional)

No silver bullets. Just tools that help tilt the odds.

The Supplement Stack (Nothing Exotic)

These came up over and over:

  • Zinc – often at the first sign of symptoms

  • Vitamin C – basic, cheap, still useful

  • Vitamin D – especially in darker winter months

  • Elderberry – polarizing, but plenty of dads swear by it

None of these are magic. Think support, not prevention.

Gut Health = Immune Health

A lot of dads mentioned probiotics, especially after back-to-back illnesses. The logic is simple: if your gut’s wrecked, your immune system usually is too. Yogurt, kefir, probiotic supplements — pick your lane.

Old-School Dad Medicine Still Has a Place

Call it placebo. Call it tradition. It still shows up:

  • Raw garlic

  • Honey

  • Ginger

  • Smoothies packed with frozen fruit and greens

  • Cod liver oil (for the truly committed)

You’re not trying to cure the flu. You’re trying to feel 10–20% better, which honestly matters.

Symptom Management > Heroics

A lot of dads said the same thing:
Stop trying to “power through.”

  • Nasal sprays

  • Decongestants

  • Throat lozenges

  • Hot showers and steam

You’re not weak for managing symptoms. You’re strategic.

IV Therapy: Not Cheap, Sometimes Effective

A few dads mentioned IV hydration or vitamin drips helped them feel human again, temporarily.

Not necessary. Not a cure. But if you’re deep in the hole and need a reset, some found it useful.

The Movement Rule: Don’t Go to Zero

This one might’ve been the most important takeaway. When you’re sick for weeks, the instinct is to shut everything down. Total rest. Couch mode. No movement at all.

Most dads agreed that’s a mistake.

The rule: 👉 Don’t go to zero.

That can look like:

  • A walk around the block

  • A long warm-up

  • One set of pushups

  • Bodyweight squats

  • Stretching for 10 minutes

Movement keeps the rust off. It keeps routines alive. And it makes the return to real workouts way less painful. You’re not training. You’re maintaining the signal.

The Mental Side Nobody Warns You About

The physical symptoms are annoying. The mental drag is worse.

When routines fall apart, it’s easy to spiral:

  • “I’m losing momentum.”

  • “I’ll start again next week.”

  • “What’s the point?”

That’s normal too.

This is where the dad wisdom kicked in: Zoom out. A rough month doesn’t erase years of consistency. Your job right now isn’t optimization. It’s not making things worse.

Rest when you need it. Move when you can. Laugh at how absurd it is that your kid sneezed once and now the house is under quarantine.

A Flu Season Reality Check for Dads

  • You’re not broken

  • Your immune system isn’t trash

  • You didn’t “fall off”

You’re just parenting during flu season. No silver bullet. Just dads comparing notes, sharing what helped, and reminding each other that this phase passes — even if it takes longer than we’d like.

If you’re in it right now, you’re not doing anything wrong.

You’re just in the trenches.

Most parenting advice is optional.

This isn’t.

In this Instagram video, Dr. Michael Milobsky—pediatrician, dad of seven, and someone who’s actually had to use these skills—breaks down the three things every parent needs to know about choking.

He’s not speculating. He’s not repeating a checklist. He’s telling you what saved his own child’s life.

Watch the Video

Video and profile screenshot courtesy of Michael Milobsky, MD (@pedsatthemeadows).

Why This Video Matters

Choking doesn’t give you time to Google. By the time you call 911, the damage may already be done. That’s why knowing what to do immediately matters more than knowing what to do perfectly.

Dr. Milobsky’s video cuts through panic and focuses on action—what actually works when a child is choking in front of you.

The Big Idea

Most choking incidents:

  • Happen at home

  • Involve toddlers

  • Occur when kids are eating and moving

The goal isn’t to be calm. The goal is to be decisive.

As Dr. Milobsky explains, hesitation—or doing the wrong thing with good intentions—can make a bad situation worse.

The 3 Rules Every Dad Should Know

1. Don’t Blindly Stick Your Finger in Their Mouth

This is the instinct. And it’s dangerous.

A child’s airway isn’t straight—it’s shaped like a funnel. If you can’t see the object, blindly sweeping with your finger can push it deeper and lodge it permanently.

Rule:
👉 Only try to remove it if you can clearly see and grab it.

2. If They’re Coughing or Making Noise—Let Them

Noise is good.

If your child is coughing, gagging, or making sounds, their body is still working to clear the airway.

Rule:
👉 Don’t interfere yet. Let them cough.

No sound = it’s time to act.

3. Back Blows First, Then Abdominal Thrusts

If your child can’t breathe or make noise:

Step one:
Deliver firm back blows between the shoulder blades. Harder than feels comfortable.

If that doesn’t work:

Step two:
Perform abdominal thrusts just below the breastbone—forcefully, in and up.

That exact sequence is what dislodged the food and saved Dr. Milobsky’s own child.

The Most Important Prevention Tip

Almost every choking incident Dr. Milobsky has seen—including in his own home—had the same setup: A child walking around while eating.

Kids should eat:

  • Sitting down

  • Staying still

  • Fully focused

No snacks on the move. No bites during play.

Simple rule. Massive payoff.

The Real Takeaway

This video isn’t meant to scare you. It’s meant to prepare you.

  • Watch it.
  • Rewatch it.
  • Send it to your partner.

And then hope you never need it.

When I first read Shoe Dog, I wasn’t looking for parenting advice. I was looking for business inspiration—grit, risk, vision, all that good stuff.

But halfway through the book, somewhere between maxed-out credit cards and Nike barely surviving another year, it hit me: This isn’t just a startup memoir. It’s a fatherhood book—just written sideways. Not about kids. About the kind of man kids grow up watching.

The Real Theme of Shoe Dog: Living With Uncertainty

Strip away the swooshes and success and Shoe Dog is really about doubt. Long stretches where nothing feels impressive. Years where the outcome is unclear.

Phil Knight didn’t have a master plan. He didn’t know Nike would work. He just kept moving forward anyway.

That’s dad life.

Most days of fatherhood don’t feel heroic. They feel uncertain. You wonder if you’re doing enough, if you’re screwing it up, if everyone else somehow knows what they’re doing better than you.

Here’s the comfort Shoe Dog offers dads: you don’t need certainty. You need commitment.

Progress Beats Confidence (A Dad Skill No One Teaches)

Knight didn’t wait until he felt ready. He shipped, adjusted, survived another year, and did it again.

Parenting works the same way. You don’t become a great dad because you read the right books or feel confident all the time. You become a great dad because you keep showing up without guarantees.

You don’t know how your kid will turn out. You don’t know which moments will matter most. You don’t know if today’s choice was the “right” one.

Neither did Phil Knight. He just didn’t quit.

The Myth of “Having It Together”

From the outside, Nike looks inevitable. From the inside, according to Shoe Dog, it was chaos held together by belief and stubbornness. That’s true for dads, too.

Your kids don’t see your inner doubts. They see whether you try. Whether you recover. Whether you keep going when things are hard.

That’s the lesson. Not perfection. Not confidence. Momentum.

Playing the Long Game Without a Scoreboard

One of the most underrated ideas in Shoe Dog is patience. Nike didn’t win quickly. It survived, then survived again, then survived some more.

Fatherhood has the same timeline. There’s no scoreboard. No quarterly results. No applause. Just quiet consistency. Bedtime stories. Car rides. Regular Tuesdays that don’t feel special until years later.

You’re building something you won’t fully see for decades. That’s not inefficiency. That’s legacy.

Identity Matters More Than Outcomes

Phil Knight wasn’t obsessed with being rich. He was obsessed with running, with craft, with building something meaningful. Good dads aren’t obsessed with outcomes either. They care about being steady, being available, being someone their kids feel safe copying.

You don’t need to be extraordinary. You need to be clear on who you are.

If Shoe Dog Had Dad Advice

If that book could talk, it would probably say this:

  • Don’t wait until you feel ready. Build anyway.
  • Your kids don’t need a finished product. They need a builder—someone willing to try, fail, learn, and keep going.

That’s the real win.

My Takeaway

We don’t need more parenting hacks. We need more long-term thinkers. More builders. More dads willing to live unfinished lives out loud. Because one day, your kid will look back and realize you didn’t have it all figured out, but you never stopped showing up.

That’s a hell of a legacy.