Once upon a time, greeting another man was simple. You stuck out your hand. He stuck out his hand. You shook. Eye contact. Done.

Then 2020 happened and turned the handshake into a psychological obstacle course. Now every greeting feels like a split‑second game of rock, paper, scissors where the loser feels awkward for the next ten minutes.

Is this guy a handshake guy? A fist bump guy? A hugger? A wave from six feet away guy who still keeps his mask in the glove compartment just in case?

Welcome to the Post‑Covid Handshake Era.

This is your field guide.

Why This Is Weird Now

The handshake used to be muscle memory. It was automatic.

Covid broke that muscle memory.

Some guys spent years actively avoiding hand contact like it was radioactive. Others never stopped shaking hands. Today, it still feels a little awkward.

We’ve become a generation of men who half-commit to greetings. Hands extended, then pulled back. Fists turning into open palms. Awkward laughs covering deep confusion.

This guide exists so you do not have to relive that moment again.

The Five Greeting Archetypes You Will Encounter

1. The Formal Handshake Guy

This guy never stopped. Firm grip. Two pumps. Direct eye contact. He probably owns real leather shoes and still writes thank‑you notes. We’re all for it. No knock here.

How to handle it: If he goes in strong, meet him there. Commit fully. A weak handshake here is worse than no handshake at all.

Rule: Never out‑formal the Formal Handshake Guy. Just match his energy.

2. The No‑Touch Guy

Hands in pockets. Little wave. Polite nod. He is not rude. He is cautious. Or tired. Or both.

How to handle it: Don’t force the contact.

A nod and a “good to see you” is more than enough. Confidence here is non‑attachment.

3. The Fist Bump Loyalist

The fist bump is clean. Efficient. Emotionally neutral.

How to handle it: The key is timing. Present the fist early and clearly. Half fists create chaos.

Bonus tip: Don’t add sound effects. Just own the bump, man. Once again, commit fully.

4. The Bro Hugger

One arm. Chest tap. Quick release. Usually reserved for friends, teammates, or guys you have shared a grill with.

How to handle it: If you hesitate, you will collide. If you commit, it works.

Lead with a smile. Angle the body. One arm only. Anything more turns it into an awkward moment.

5. The Chaos Hybrid

This guy doesn’t know what he wants, and neither do you. Handshake turns into fist bump turns into half hug.

This is the most dangerous archetype.

How to handle it: Slow down. Let him lead. Mirror what he does, not what you think he might do.

The Universal Dad Rule

When in doubt, pause for half a beat. That micro‑pause lets the other guy declare his intentions. Rushing is what creates the infamous hand‑fist‑thumb lock that will haunt you at 2 a.m.

Calm beats cool every time.

The Bigger Lesson

This isn’t really about handshakes. It’s about reading the room. And adapting without making it weird. Your kids are watching how you navigate these moments. They are learning how to meet the world. Literally.

Show them that being a man is not about forcing tradition or rejecting it.

It’s about awareness.