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When I was in eighth grade, I faced a choice that felt huge at the time. I’d gone to a small private school my whole life, kindergarten through eighth grade. Then my parents gave me an option: stick with private high school or go to public school like my brother did. I chose public school—and wow, did my world change.
I went from a cozy class of 30 kids I’d known forever to a sea of over 400 strangers. It was a lot. I’d always been a confident kid, but something shifted. It’s not like I was bullied, but the kids weren’t exactly rolling out the welcome wagon either. It hit me harder than I expected, and for the first time, I started questioning myself.
Fast forward to college, when I signed up for a volunteer trip to New Orleans. That trip was a turning point. Stepping into a totally unfamiliar environment, working on something bigger than myself, it changed my mindset. My confidence slowly started to come back. I hit a point where I felt unstoppable—like I could tackle anything.
And now, as a parent, I think about that shift a lot. My kids are still young, but I already feel this pull to help them believe in themselves. I want them to grow up knowing they can do anything they set their minds to, no matter what the world throws at them.
There’s this famous quote from Steve Jobs that I love: “Everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you.” That’s the mindset I want to instill in my kids—and I’m guessing you feel the same way about yours. So, how do we do that? Here are a few ideas:
1. Encourage Them to Try New Things
Confidence comes from doing. Encourage your kids to step outside their comfort zones—whether that’s joining a new club, trying a sport, or learning an instrument. The more they try, the more they’ll realize they can handle.
2. Celebrate Effort, Not Just Wins
It’s so easy to praise results, but focusing on effort teaches them that hard work matters more than perfection. If they know you value the process, they’ll be less afraid to tackle tough stuff.
3. Share Your Own Stories
Kids need to hear that even grown-ups stumble. Share your struggles and how you got through them. It shows them that failure isn’t the end—it’s part of the process.
4. Be Their Role Model
Your kids are always watching. If you’re kind to yourself, face challenges head-on, and stay positive, they’ll learn to do the same. Show them what self-belief looks like in action.
5. Help Them Flip Negative Thoughts
When your kids doubt themselves, teach them to reframe it. Instead of saying, “I can’t do this,” help them say, “I can’t do this yet.” That small change can make a huge difference.
6. Introduce Them to Inspiring Ideas
Fill their world with inspiration—books, quotes, stories. Print out that Steve Jobs quote and stick it on the fridge. Talk about what it means and how they can create their own path.
7. Support What They Love
Whatever your kids are into—whether it’s painting, coding, or building LEGO masterpieces—cheer them on. Their passions are the foundation of their confidence.
8. Give Them Leadership Opportunities
Find ways for your kids to step up—whether it’s being a team captain, organizing a group project, or helping at home. Leadership builds confidence and helps them see their strengths.
Final Thoughts
Life is going to test our kids—no doubt about it. But if we can help them build self-belief, they’ll be ready. By teaching them to trust in their abilities, we’re not just helping them dream big—we’re giving them the tools to make it happen. And maybe, just maybe, they’ll look back one day and think, “I can do this… because someone believed in me first.”
